Mercy is Greater than Shame

And I don't think... guilt and remorse are bad things i think shame is a really bad thing so i think that um guilt and remorse are like when our kid does something wrong and they feel guilt we don't say to them oh don't feel guilty you shouldn't feel bad no if they did something wrong they should feel bad and i'm glad that they feel bad uh one of my kids when they were really little stole some lego men from a friend of theirs who was a couple years older And my child broke down and was crying and felt really bad.

And well, at first he tried to cover it up and he said, oh, I don't know how they just ended up in my pocket.

And my husband kind of took the lead.

And I was grateful because I didn't know exactly what to do.

And my husband leaned in and was just like, you know, Stealing is really bad and wrong and we should feel guilty, but lying about it is even worse.

So sometimes when we make mistakes, we can double down on them and find that we get in even more sins or we admit the truth and it's hard and we feel it and we have to make things right and apologize.

And I love you so much and I want you to tell me the truth.

I'm going to let you think about it.

But I know that you are a good boy.

You are a very, very good boy.

And I want to know the truth.

And I believe that you are courageous enough to tell me the truth, even if it hurts.

And sure enough, he broke down crying and apologized and said, I stole them.

And he said, okay, we're going to go apologize to this boy.

And we called the parents of this other boy.

And the other boy was a few years older.

So our son was younger then and looked up to this boy.

This was an older boy.

His older sister babysat for us.

And this boy was like, it's really not a big deal.

He can have it.

And Matt was like, actually, I don't want you to say that.

If you could please tell him, um, that you forgive him and just receive it.

Um, I would really appreciate it.

Like this needs to be a good learning moment for, for our son.

And I don't think... guilt and remorse are bad things i think shame is a really bad thing so i think that um guilt and remorse are like when our kid does something wrong and they feel guilt we don't say to them oh don't feel guilty you shouldn't feel bad no if they did something wrong they should feel bad and i'm glad that they feel bad uh one of my kids when they were really little stole some lego men from a friend of theirs who was a couple years older And my child broke down and was crying and felt really bad.

And well, at first he tried to cover it up and he said, oh, I don't know how they just ended up in my pocket.

And my husband kind of took the lead.

And I was grateful because I didn't know exactly what to do.

And my husband leaned in and was just like, you know, Stealing is really bad and wrong and we should feel guilty, but lying about it is even worse.

So sometimes when we make mistakes, we can double down on them and find that we get in even more sins or we admit the truth and it's hard and we feel it and we have to make things right and apologize.

And I love you so much and I want you to tell me the truth.

I'm going to let you think about it.

But I know that you are a good boy.

You are a very, very good boy.

And I want to know the truth.

And I believe that you are courageous enough to tell me the truth, even if it hurts.

And sure enough, he broke down crying and apologized and said, I stole them.

And he said, okay, we're going to go apologize to this boy.

And we called the parents of this other boy.

And the other boy was a few years older.

So our son was younger then and looked up to this boy.

This was an older boy.

His older sister babysat for us.

And this boy was like, it's really not a big deal.

He can have it.

And Matt was like, actually, I don't want you to say that.

If you could please tell him, um, that you forgive him and just receive it.

Um, I would really appreciate it.

Like this needs to be a good learning moment for, for our son.