Mini: Go Piss Girl
Jul 8, 2026 · 18 min · 9 segments
This week we're taking a look at the 5 most embarrassing ways people have died (before 1800, so it's okay to laugh). Support Afternoonified by contributing to their tip jar…
Jul 8, 2026 · 18 min · 9 segments
This week we're taking a look at the 5 most embarrassing ways people have died (before 1800, so it's okay to laugh). Support Afternoonified by contributing to their tip jar…
Number five, Samuel Spencer mauled by a turkey.
Samuel Spencer was an American judge, lawyer, and military officer from North Carolina.
In 1793, he was resting between court sessions at his home.
While sitting on the porch wearing a red hat, he became sleepy and began to nod.
A large turkey gobbler, which I believe is a boy turkey, apparently regarded the moving cap as a challenge and attacked him.
The judge was thrown from his chair and suffered numerous scratches, which developed bacterial infection and eventually led to his death shortly after the attack.
He may also have died from injuries that he sustained falling off of his chair, but the turkey was still the cause.
You
say infection, infection will get
you.
Have they never known turkeys to be violent birds, but they do look like they would fuck you up.
Oh
yeah, they got
those
big ass dinosaur
talons.
Oh, they're scary looking birds.
They're big.
Like we have turkeys.
Turkeys are big.
That just like live around my apartment.
They actually, they live in the, they live by the exit ramp or entrance ramp onto the highway right next to my place.
So once in a while, just like, you know, try to get on the highway and there's just turkeys.
Hanging out.
Whole big colony
Number five, Samuel Spencer mauled by a turkey.
Samuel Spencer was an American judge, lawyer, and military officer from North Carolina.
In 1793, he was resting between court sessions at his home.
While sitting on the porch wearing a red hat, he became sleepy and began to nod.
A large turkey gobbler, which I believe is a boy turkey, apparently regarded the moving cap as a challenge and attacked him.
The judge was thrown from his chair and suffered numerous scratches, which developed bacterial infection and eventually led to his death shortly after the attack.
He may also have died from injuries that he sustained falling off of his chair, but the turkey was still the cause.
You
say infection, infection will get
you.
Have they never known turkeys to be violent birds, but they do look like they would fuck you up.
Oh
yeah, they got
those
big ass dinosaur
talons.
Oh, they're scary looking birds.
They're big.
Like we have turkeys.
Turkeys are big.
That just like live around my apartment.
They actually, they live in the, they live by the exit ramp or entrance ramp onto the highway right next to my place.
So once in a while, just like, you know, try to get on the highway and there's just turkeys.
Hanging out.
Whole big colony
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