Mm

... that one, I was in, and read all of those just, "Oh, wow, these are so good." And, um, then, oh, he's got novels out.

And oh, I also remember the, the, the Salem's Lot TV movie, uh, made me go and read that book.

And then once I was in, I was in.

I mean, I read...

I very distinctly remember reading his book The Stand when I was 11, and like, and I read it, I reread like three years ago just to, um, you know, was my recollection good? That, that was a genuinely brilliant novel.

Although, I read the copy, the paperback with the face and the crow on it before the special editions with all the extra stuff.

Uh-huh

What's your Stephen King origin story? Are you a constant reader?

Yes, very, very much a constant reader.

My origin story was the, luckily I got to grow up in the 80s in the suburbs.

So there was some really benign, benignly neglectful parenting going on where They just didn't have the time to really monitor what we were reading.

And they were just so happy that we were reading.

And I was a monster kid, so I very naturally gravitated toward...

My first encounter was in the...

And then

Was that your gateway into reading? I mean, and now I know you read heavier literature, uh, and all kinds of stuff, but was, w- were comic books the, the start for you?

No.

Actually, very heavy literature was my start.

I started off reading stuff like, I was a huge Mark Twain fan, a big, uh, Poe fan, even when I was really, really young.

I don't know what it was.

I'm not the smartest and most discerning of reader, but a guy like Poe, who was so obscure in his descriptions and so elliptical and so almost passive in the way he gets into things, I don't know what it was.

I was able to hone in on his frequency even when I was really young.

Please.

Um, but his energy's up.

Hey, man, I'm with...

Listen, Glenn Beck says that a president, the witch doctor will, with 9/11, uh, do you remember with the Jesus eagles flying in the fields? Yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

C is for Caesar.

Exactly.

So this, the, all these people going, "You gotta do it the way." Like, they have this weird cutoff.

It seems to be, like, Little House on the Prairie times.

Um, but his energy's up.

Hey, man, I'm with...

Listen, Glenn Beck says that the president, the witch doctor will, with 9/11.

And do you remember with the Jesus eagles flying in the fields? Yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

It would, I would probably die in childbirth.

Yeah, but I love how they go, "You know, we g- C-sec- C-sections were around since the time of the Romans.

That's why, that's [laughs]-"

latest, what's the last great horror movie that you watched of recent...

I can tell you with the laugh that there's been a weird resurgence in great horror.

There has.

Oh, boy.

This year alone, you had a movie called Weapons.

I loved Weapons.

Which was incredible.

you

Whoo.

And we were, um...

Thank you.

And we were doing a, uh, promotion [laughs] where they had, uh, the cast members, the voice cast doing, uh, goat yoga.

Uh, so we were all in yoga poses and, like, goats were on our backs, me and Nick Kroll and, um, uh, there's so many people in it.

And, uh, and then the goat started... [laughs] The goats just started shitting.

And what did he, what did you guys talk about?

When we, uh ...

Oh,

well, here, okay.

Actually, marry Sidney Lumet.

Thank you.

Kill Mike Nichols, who I love, but fuck Kubrick because you get to do it 172 times.

It's just non...

Over.

That's the show.

And then it

kind of went...

People were like, okay, got it.

Thank you.

And then...

Then they had some cool postmodern like Scream and stuff like that.

So there's going to be too many superhero movies.

Where do you think the state of the industry is right now? Do you think we're going to be, are you optimistic or pessimistic about it?

Sherman Torrigan days.

Yes.

Midnight Movie, I imagine it's coming from there, I imagine, or maybe it's not.

Well, Midnight Movie is, and I'll tell you right off, here's one, I'm picking Eraserhead, and here's why.

Okay.

Eraserhead was one of those movies that I first read about it in Midnight Movies.

Yeah, yeah, man.

Do you remember seeing choices like that that go against this? It's like, oh, man, it's like this other choice that's available.

I got

Audible for it.

Yes, I did an Audible special that I'd recorded at the Minetta Lane Theater in – New York.

And it's a hour of, you know, whatever was on my mind at the time.

And it was just, it was fantastic because what I'd forgotten was, because my first album, my first two albums are just audio only.

And it's so much more freeing You don't have to worry about camera angles and what are we cutting to? And okay, I gotta have makeup on.

What should I wear? This is just, I'm just talking.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Yeah.

And a lot of these ... cartoons end with characters that are just in pain forever.

You know, like, there, there's one where, uh, where the, where the coyote, um, the, the, the Roadrunner scares him, and he goes through this whole, goes down a sewer and then all these little pipes that get smaller and smaller, and then on the last one, this little spigot and this weird broken multi, you know, sectioned arm because it's been broken by all the pipes comes out and turns it on, and then it drops him out in this big drop.

And he's standing there like, "Ah!" And he looks terrified.

And then the Roadrunner comes up and beeps again at him, and he goes up back, and, and he's gonna do it over and over.

And it's like, without meaning to, a lot of those early cartoons were visions of hell, were visions of constant pain and torment.

And you know, there was one where this do- this bulldog is making these cats get him meat out of, uh, butcher shops, and he's, like, abusing them, and he's like, "You forgot the gravy." And then at the end, he actually gets into a butcher shop all by himself and just eats himself.

[laughs]

So I want to ask first, when you look back, is there a role that got away, something you auditioned for that you really wanted, but didn't get and that you still kind of think about?

No, and I'll tell you why.

Because every role I haven't gotten, the person that I saw that got it was so amazing, and that's why that thing worked.

Like, I'm lucky that I didn't get it.

If I didn't get it, it meant I wasn't right for it.

And I really, really subscribe.

There's a great thing Charlton Heston said.

Who is the actor that you did a scene with who just impressed you the most, who you couldn't sort of believe what you were seeing acting opposite that person?

I love it

... you are, um...

Comedy is always a thing that I do, so I think of a special or an album as, okay, now we're checking in a year down the road, here's what's happening.

See you in another year and a half or so, and then we'll check in again, 'cause I'm always doing it.

But you don't need to see the whole process of me up on stage Tuesday night at the Laugh Factory or Sunday at the Largo working out new stuff and with a piece of paper there like, "Uh, let's see if this works." So you know, so that, they're just, they're check, they're like, they're like editions of a magazine.

Here's how I'm feeling this year at this time at this age.

What do you do to make space for observing and just being able to kinda take things in?

Um, it's weird you mention that, 'cause I was, I was kinda talking about this with someone the other day.

Mm-hmm.

Comedy on State a couple years ago and it was, I hadn't done a club in, like, years.

And they're like, "Hey," I was getting ready for, do another special.

They went, "Why don't you do this little club to get ready?" And the show was so electric.

The audience is right there and I was like, "How do I shoot something in this space, small?" So that's what I did.

I directed it.

We set up the...

Yeah.

We had one of them in a very classic scene.

Yes.

I mean, it was – he – again, you have the basic outline of the scene, and then he – what's so amazing about Larry David is – because a lot of times when people are doing improv, they're trying to win the scene with the funniest line.

And he is – if anything, setting you up to be even funnier, and in doing so, he ends up being even, because what he's saying is like, so you got her to, she bought the, because he gives me this really stupid story to say that I'm a competitive eater, and she buys the story, she goes, She bought that lie.

That was the stupidest thing.

I'm like, I know, like, that was like a, that's like a Goebbels-level lie.

No, I go, I go, who was the guy who said the bigger the lie, the more people believe it? He goes, Goebbels.

But, yeah, I'm looking forward to this because is this, for the lack of a better phrase, like a little bit of dodgeball being brought to the movie? It's

Is Jack in the Box your brand?

Jack in the Box is one of my g- th- there's certain craveable foods that you will get even though you know they are horrible and horrible for you, but you don't care.

And the basic tacos at Jack in the Box that I know come out of a caulking gun and are then deep-fri- it is, the, it's the most, it's the m- the unhealthiest concoction on the planet, and it's, they're so good.

And every now and then I gotta have a Jack in the Box taco.

I'm ready.

Okay.

Um, I did a bit on my, uh, second album about, uh, KFC's famous bowls when they first came out.

It was another version of Nerds Ropes, where it's clearly, what stuff do we have left over? Can we dump it in a bowl and cover it in gravy? And you would think that a human being with e- a shred of dignity would recoil from this thing.

That's also been a thing, right?

I did a lot...

Yeah, I, I didn't, I've never really done script doctoring in which they give me a movie and I rewrite it, but I have done what's called punch-up rooms or tables, where you go into a room and they have a script and you are all firing jokes at it.

And, um, so I did a lot of work with, uh, the Farrelly brothers, um, some early Transformer stuff.

I had a regular thing over at DreamWorks punching up all their animated movies, and I even did a bit about that and wrote a thing for The New York Times Magazine about they would bring us into these animated movies to do punch-up, and we would go, "You know, it, it, the movie would be really so much more dynamic if you just start it in the second act." And they're like, "The movie is 90% done."

[laughs]

[laughs]I have never seen a movie with a crowd that was so on board from the get-go and, like, got, immediately got the tone of the film.

They understood why it was funny.

Take a quick, here's a quick peek.

Oh, here we go.

How was school today, sweetie? It was pretty good, dude.

No, listen.

[laughs] No, wait.

I'm not here to sell you weed, okay? I'm still signing permission slips.

We're not working the line together at Jersey Mike's.

That's one.

We didn't get to buddy up this time, but I understand, Pat, that you were able to buddy up with him around your old stomping grounds.

Let me tell you something, man.

I went to college at William & Mary, graduated in 91.

I'm 89 years old.

Shit.

I was able to take Dylan and Al all around the area.

Listen, I showed them the whole triangle.

in college,

Yeah.

Like, have less shows and, and really do the thing.

Do, do a r- it'd be really cool to do a combination of you have these great big names doing huge shows, and that's awesome, but as much light as you put on those, really give people the opportunity and make, make it seem like a, a special thing to, "Here are names you have never heard before."

That's awesome.

It was amazing.

And I did a joke that I, that is on my new special.

This is, by the way, I know you've experienced this.

This is gonna, this is gonna make you cinch up when I say it.

But doesn't that kinda mean that she thinks you're cool? Isn't that k- isn't that a good sign?

I, y- y- yes, but, like, I still want the d- ugh.

Y- your, your, your kids never will fully think that you're cool.

By the way, I remember, we were at the Grammys together, uh, when you beat me, and you were there with your daughter.

And I rem-

Incredible.

Jed the dog.

And my wife, Meredith, was like, "Oh, yeah, he was the coolest.

W- who do you think?

I, again, be- because of the phrase, "He fiddled while Rome burned", doesn't it...

To me, it feels like he set the fire.

It's interesting, isn't it? The idea of if these are scurrilous rumors, if these are kind of monstrous lies, they still tell us about the Romans.

No, that, I love that aspect of it.

You can tell what their daily lives and also what their...

It's almost like you can tell the psychological scars that are left on a population by almost the nursery rhymes and myths that they tell later on.

Like, the monks are fun.

The last guy that I played as a monk, his background is he was a, like, law enforcement officer, like, whatever that version is in the villages.

But he was very, very corrupt and evil.

He was just bad, like, taking bribes and falsely imprisoning people.

And then he quit to then follow this... holy path because he had kind of a breakdown.

It kind of went nuts.

And so now he's a monk, but a lot of times he will run into his old running mates who were evil.

Okay.

... that we, you know, it was just convenient for us to sort of go, "Well, yeah, sure, we're racist and sexist and all that, but we're really a shining city on the hill." Like, yeah, that was built by slaves, you know?

In my, in my 20s, I was such a douchebag.

I was so confused, and I was so competitive and insecure, and, and, uh, also, consequently, in denial about what I was, and, and trying to act like I was one of the good guys.

Whereas in reality, I had a lot of problems, and then I went into therapy and really looked at, and faced and embraced a lot of the shit that I was, so that I could then move...

I didn't ever- I didn't really become successful and happy until I looked at all of my shittiness and went, "Oh, okay, that's who you are.

Own that, and start fixing it." But we have...

Our country is in that phase right now of, "We have always been amazing.

Yeah.