Put them in a cute, fancy glass jar and say that this is going to reset your gut microbiome.

I will say I am not some of these coffee people that are like, I have eight coffees a day.

If I don't have a coffee in the morning, I can't function.

I do Dunkin' Donuts coffee every morning.

But if push comes to shove and I have to miss a day of coffee...

I can function not as well per chance or per se, but I can definitely function a little, but my body's also weird.

The second it hits 11 o'clock, I cannot have coffee after that.

Go.

You should.

But it's like, I should be doing that, and I didn't waste my 20s.

It was what it was.

So it's like most people who maybe prioritize their career in their 20s, and then in their 30s they're like, "Now I wanna find a partner," or whatever, I don't prioritize that 'cause I'm like, "Well, there's so many things that I wanna be doing career-wise," and-

... my exercise routine

And you're a prime example of this, and partly, I mean, there's so many reasons, but partly why I love your comedy is- When I go home for Christmas every year, my aunt and uncle own this bar in town, and it's this huge bar, and they have a Christmas party every year, and I love Christmas.

And for the last four years, I host the party.

They bought a microphone for, uh, me and everything.

And

in the class, I said this on the podcast, they go, we're going to go around the room and say what we believe in.

And it got to me.

And I go, I believe you all believe this is real.

What? Yeah.

And the pastor at the end said, Nick, if you could stay back.

I said, sure.

Made by hand, one at a time.

Did you get any responses?

Of course.

Oh, yeah.

Because they thought I was a father.

And I didn't tell them that I was in sixth grade.

Then all of high school, I wanted to be an orthodontist.

I was fully like about to apply to colleges for pre-dental.

What would your approach be to finding a date?

don't know how you guys even, I've met Nick a bunch of times, but I don't know how you guys know each other.

In orgy.

We were the only two.

We were all thinking it.

No, we met.

Honestly, that's most gay guys.

If you ask, how do they know they met over Grindr? We did not.

know you were gay?

Oh, no. Oh, no

...

I had never seen it, and randomly the other night while I was here this week, Bob, Jacob, and I are sitting on the couch and Bob goes, "Let's play a game.

All of us close our eyes.

We're gonna hold down the remote, let it just go, hit play, play, play, play, play, play, open our eyes, and see what it is." It happened to be Matlock.

[laughs]

And so she continued with the class after we'd bantered back and forth, and then class ended and she goes, "Nick, can you stay?" And I said, "Of course." And she knows my family, everyone, and she goes, "Sweetie, I don't think this is for you.

And I'm not saying don't come back, I'm just saying you don't have to come back." So I-

And they go into the thing, and the car is now going in the water, and now they're trying to get out of the vehicle altogether.

So I think Viola's been helping Queen Latifah the whole movie try to find the killer, yada, yada, yada, throw her off the pace, and then all of a sudden the climactic moment, they're all home talking about it or something, and one of the kids says something regarding seeing Viola-

[laughs] She-

And then Queen, she takes the, the, the whatever she jammed in her mouth, and she takes it out, and she goes, "We could have just blamed this on anyone else.

It didn't have to come to this." And Queen goes, "You can kill my husband.

You've killed our friendship.

But what you will never kill is my child." And she breaks free and drops kick Viola.

And they go into the thing, and the car is now going in the water, and now they're trying to get out of the vehicle altogether.

So I think Viola's been helping Queen Latifah the whole movie try to find the killer, yada, yada, yada, throw her off the pace, and then all of a sudden the climactic moment, they're all home talking about it or something, and one of the kids says something regarding seeing Viola-

[laughs] She-

And then Queen, she takes the, the, the whatever she jammed in her mouth, and she takes it out, and she goes, "We could have just blamed this on anyone else.

It didn't have to come to this." And Queen goes, "You can kill my husband.

You've killed our friendship.

But what you will never kill is my child." And she breaks free and drops kick Viola.

[laughs]

Right.

And the part about Samantha in this episode that I love is she goes home with this guy who has this, like, BDSM closet where she pretends to be upset about, but, like, obviously she's not upset about kink, her of all people.

The part that she's most upset about is that he thought she was her actual age of 40.

[laughs]

And the way that they were doing faces back then is also different now, 'cause now it's sort of like the era of the Kardashian-ified faces where it was so...

It's changed in the last couple years, but the last decade has been, like, so filler central.

So everything is more plump and everything's more full and everything's more sort of like plush and round.

Number one, try to capsule what that experience was like, and number two, what advice do you give to these young men who are working so hard to get back there?

It was, uh, it was such a memorable experience, uh, to go to the World Series, just how it happened and, you know, kinda we were the underdog the whole time, which is a little bit different than this USM team.

You know, they're, been ranked in the top 25 probably for the better part of the year.

Uh, and man, just enjoy every second of it, 'cause it is gone quickly.

Heck, it's been 20 years almost since-

Uh, well, can you put into words what it was like when you first walked on that field and you realize, "I'm standing here in Omaha, Nebraska"?

I think everybody just kinda got on the field, 'cause I think we went and, you know, did some infield and stuff that day and, uh, just kind of walk out to the foul line and just kinda stare around.

There wasn't nobody in the stands-

Defend yourself from Little House on the

Prairie.

You're Christian.

I'm not as precious.

Nick, when it comes to things, like I can get down and dirty.

No, you can't.

Like how? Like having Starbucks instead of Dunkin' Donuts? I would do Dunkin'.

South Korean Olympics? What year and what was the capital?

Yeah.

And did she come to the city, too, or did she go somewhere else? She was a year older.

She stayed in Pennsylvania and went to college there.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

Shout out Brittany.

Yeah, shout out Brittany.

They made me

Yeah

And I talked about it on our podcast, but I will say, I think I'm a very self-aware person for the most part, and I'm aware I'm a very specific person.

So I feel like my pool of prospects is very limited.

So I've come to terms with I might not find anyone, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But I have-

Yeah.

I, my boyfriend at the time, I was here for college, and we got tickets to Anderson Cooper's very short-lived talk show.

And the opening comic was, like, out in the audience warming people up, and she came to a spot, and she was like, "This is Anderson's favorite spot to stand," and it happened to be right next to my chair.

Why? I don't I vaguely remember the details of the

story.

It says he lived.

He wasn't.

So his highest degree is a B.S. in economics from.

Yes, for sure.

And then he showed his he showed up to pick his son for a baseball game and slapped his kid across the face when he wasn't dressed for the occasion.

To be honest, I don't know a ton about Labubus, but you know that Selena Estides is like a Labubu partner, and you can go to her page and get a Labubu through like some second dealer or something? Yeah.

No, you're

not.

Oh, my God.

Nick

I haven't seen

Andy on Monet's page in a very long time.