Did you see the documentary on his life, Marty Short?

no i can't i would i would be too pained i don't want to think of him in pain i did meet him yeah i met him a year ago and i mean i know every jiminy glick interview i do an impression of him the whole thing yeah and i was doing some show in canada it was an outdoor show me and fortune feimster she knew him and i saw him walking around backstage and i said oh my god like top three people that I would want to meet.

I've already met one.

Barbara Streisand.

I mean, Mariah Carey.

I want to meet Barbara Streisand.

Martin Short's up there.

She made a complete... change in her personality and it's like how do you how do you even thank somebody for that

This weirdo.

I've become obsessed with this show called Ghost Adventures.

Has anyone seen this show here? All right, seven people.

Okay, guys, they're going on their 18th season.

They haven't found a single ghost yet.

Oh yes.

The entire show is just grown men walking into abandoned buildings going, what's that? That's the show.

Francesca to the yarn section, please.

Hey, you guys are white.

I was in Seattle.

I know, that's like when people find out you're gay and they're like, you're gay? Do you know my gay cousin Daniel from Akron, Ohio? I'm like, no.

But I do have a picture of his dick on my phone.

I was in Seattle for the International Women's Day March.

Happy belated International Women's Day, ladies.

Little bit of sweat, probably, because she's bent over, working it, applying for an arts grant.

Yeah! Take it! Take money for your art.

So yeah, what did change it for you?

Inst- Oh God, not the fedora era.

Instagram changed it all.

I remember 2021 after the pandemic, um, trying to b- trying to do like a Thursday night at the Miami Improv, and they called us and said, "You know, you only sold 20 tickets, so we're canceling the show." Which a year later I sold out six, and I remember this guy came up to me, he's like, "I bought 20 tickets last year because they told me that that is if there's a minimum of 20 tickets, uh, they'd still keep the show going." He was from Italy.

It was so sweet.

But I just remember calling Schultz.

He was the first to like leave and come back, and as a comic, the concept of like using your material and putting it online and putting it on Instagram and putting it, was all so foreign and I was just, I had no money and no...

Yeah.

Mateo's going to take over for a second.

So, in high school, my friend Caesar, he kept having dreams about this, like, little girl, like, maybe, like, 14, 15-ish, kind of, like, crawling into his bed, like, begging him to, like...

How old was he? Come back.

He was probably 16.

Okay.

And he kept having visions of, like, she was, like, something about... something about Germany, and he kept having like, this girl was like, fighting, like, kind of like waking him up and like, he could feel or whatever.

So he was all like, what do I do? We're like, we'll call my aunt.

i have a better one okay let's go you did this as a lie let's go let's hear it i don't know if this is a ghost it is it's good let's talk about it i love that kind of

Or like Tetris.

What about Tetris? I love Tetris.

I love Tetris.

What is it? Solitaire.

I love Solitaire.

Mark's like, what about Frogger? I love it.

What about Tetris and the newspaper boy? What about, do you like the shooters though? You like the shooter games? I'm obsessed with all shooter games.

He got into a fight

How do you now have a broadway debut under

your belt how did that happen it was bound to happen i sing opera and i'm gay and i live in new york so it's some way i was gonna find myself to broadway yeah they asked me i did chicago i was billy flynn but i made him gay and uh i was a professional singer and so i've always kept my voice going so i went on this audition and i knew that when you walk in it was like it's stunt casting and it was all these producers and the musical director and stuff and I was like, I'm just going to kind of make this stand up.

So I tried to make them laugh as hard as I could during the interview by kind of going the opposite direction.

So they were like, did you memorize your lines? I was like, under no circumstances.

And they were just laughing, and I was singing for them, and I was doing impressions, and I was like, I can read this character, but I can't do it with my voice.

They're like, why not? I was like, really, Billy Flynn's going to be like, you owe me $5,000.

I was like, let me play a character.

I'm going to go to college for the arts.

That's nuts.

And the dress rehearsal, so it's just me and the cast.

Like, I'm s- I was fucking up right and left, and everyone ...

Americans are so nice, like, "Oh, you'll be all right." The girl playing Velma, her name is Sophie.

She's British, and she came up to me and she was like, "Right, so it's good you made a mistake.

Mark it, go back, read it.

You'll get it fine.

Right

know now.

Yes.

I have 32 cousins.

Here's my friends and family.

Oh, look at this.

And comedians.

They all came to the show.

Was it in Rome?

Yeah.

And Nick goes, wow.

I think I should do something different on Instagram.

And both of us said, you should do front facing.

Number one, it's easy.

It's cheap.

And you should talk about pop culture because he'll call me.

Was one time Mick really had your back when it counted?

Yeah

... like, my nieces or nephews or whatever? Um, it's Fortnite if it's, if they're young boys.

I'm like, "I don't know how to else..." Like, one time I was at The Cellar, and Noam's kids were there, and they're adorable.

They're, like, seven or six or s- you know.

And I'm like, "I don't know how to talk to kids." You know, it's kinda quiet.

Someone brought up Fortnite, and I was like, "Oh, I know Fortnite," 'cause I play every day.

Sure.

Um, so there's only a few organic things left in terms of, like, she's so powerful and rich and famous, it's like she's ethereal at this point.

... entrance.

I didn't mean to.

I saw it.

They a- this was years ago.

They actually messaged me when I used to have Twitter.

Cats, like the blue check Cats messaged me on, on Twitter, and they were like, "Come see a purr-fect show." Like, it was so cheesy.

And I was like, "Did you mean to write me?" They're like, "Yeah, we're, it's, like, gay, gay night at Cats."

I mean, that's just how the world works, unfortunately, right?

Hi, everyone.

Thanks.

Oh my God.

I haven't even done anything yet.

I like the one Italian guy in the front row who's miserable.

You won't catch it.

Okay, so.

She's like,

[laughs]

[laughs] What I do is if I have...

Once you finish an hour, you go to the Comedy Cellar, and I have, like, let's say four or five months without touring.And I ask Estie, I'm like, "Hey, I'm back.

Give me every single spot." I go through all my pre- and my phone is just full of joke premises.

I go through all my premises and I write them all, and then I match where I think that they kind of blend or, like, can transition or, like, sort of group them together where they fit and then I do about 22 shows a week.

So they're 15-minute spots at The Cellar and you can do, like, four or five shows a night, and you just start.

And so you get on stage, you tell the audience, "I'm doing all new stuff." You record everything on your phone, so I have everything recorded on my phone and I go through, let's say, five...

Yeah.

Like-

Like-That's called Stockholm syndrome.

[laughs] Right.

But I'm saying she's probably developing that.

Of course.

That's what she's doing.

She's creating a perpetual state of anxiety.

[laughs]

By the

way, they're writing still.

So you said it like, and this, by the way, is shocking enough.

Then you said, yeah, I was in, I got a latte and a sandwich, no book, like very nice, you know, because obviously you're still trying to maintain like a good relationship.

And you go, I actually need to know what y'all messaged me, why y'all messaged me this, what was the book? And they go, and I'm telling you, this is...

You'll not believe the response.

Like short circuit wrote this.

If I am showing you a movie that I love, and you haven't seen it, and I see you on the phone, it's like you've killed me.

[laughs]

"I guess at the same time you were here, one of our cookbooks was taken from the pile.

We were clearing the shelves and, well, because we're renovating.

Anyways, one of the baristas, in a fit of mistaken identity, told me that you were here and I must have confused who she was pointing at.

I didn't mean to DM with any malice, so my sincerest apologies.

Wasn't looking to make an enemy." [laughs]

But they're, yeah, she randomly will say like some of the coolest things I've ever heard, and I'm, it's really confusing and distracting.

It's just a lot of people that just don't know who they are, but they really want attention and fame and to feel that they belong, and the sacrifices they make to get to that place, unfortunately, when, especially in, you know, Washington, I, I think a lot of them don't realize that there's a lot of people's lives i- in their hands.

Like but then you're saying it took it seven years, 17 year overnight sensation ish.

I mean, yeah, I started when I was 23 in Chicago.

So now I'm moving on to 39 and it just was, yeah, it just is a, it's a lot.

It feels like it was nothing.

And then it feels like it was like a long time, but basically, you know, for years, I would say before 2020, remember that, um, I, um, was just, you know, trying to play the game and just trying to like audition and trying to sell an hour to Netflix and try, but I just was rejected at every corner.

And so after 2020, like in 2021 comics, like Schultz and Sam Morrell started putting their clips online.

And that's when I called Andrew Schultz.

I want to know about the photo shoot for the cookbook.