But you know what I mean? Like, tell me how you got from there to here, because you're such a strong, amazing advocate for women, and I think anybody listening right now, especially young girls, and it doesn't matter if it's breast cancer or depression or, you know, autoimmune or anything that they're going through, y- how did you get from that point to where you are right now?

Okay, well, I'll just say that it was really, really, really difficult, um, probably more difficult than I ever anticipated, and I think the hair loss was a huge part of that, just mentally and physically and spiritually, that really took me down to my knees probably the most out of any of the treatment pieces of it.

So I really just sat in a lot of that grief and anger and sadness, and I didn't try and make it better all the time.

I'm a naturally optimistic person, and of course looked for positivity, and when I was really struggling, I was adamant about keeping to my gratitude lists.

I absolutely, I mean, we've already done data and research on the power of gratitude and how that can transform your outlook and your life and your baseline.

But I'd say letting myself sit in the emotions and process them in therapy, which it took me, like, four therapists to find one that I liked.

I think people, there's a false narrative that you just, like, any therapist works.

But when you, you know, date or, or with this new relationship or the relationship you're in right now, do you, is that the first thing that, that comes out? Like, "I'm a breast cancer survivor." Like, I mean, h- talk to me about that.

at any age when your

peers aren't necessarily going through it but like I could imagine even a woman who's say 30 and her friends are having kids and stuff and like you're in this totally different stage of life and you had these symptoms that are very hard to explain to other people and a lot of them can feel shameful yeah so how have you talked about it Well, I take a really head-on approach, which is probably not normal.

But, like, I talk about it all over social media.

I have my own podcast, Pink365, where I'm just trying to, like, obviously understand these issues better myself.

Like, a lot of the research and conversations I have, I do feel are selfish with the, like, knowledge that they are definitely helping other people.

So some of it's just, like...

I feel like I take an approach of education for my peers.

It's a strain that everything is tethered to a little

Like, pulling the, pulling the girls up.

Pulling the girls up.

Yeah, like, making sure they were sitting nice, like, everything was going good, and I remember distinctly brushing across what felt like a little jelly bean under my skin, and it immediately raised a flag.

I was like, "That was not there before." Like, it felt pretty, like, distinct.

Like, it f- it was, like, hard almost.

So I brought one of my girlfriends into the bathroom and I was like, "Can I have your finger?" Like, literally guided her to the spot.

I was like, "Is that weird?" And she was like, "Yeah, like, that's strange." Um, so we ended up going down, like, a Google rabbit hole.

Yeah

What's one thing you've become way less tolerant of after everything you've been through?

It's like I just like don't stress as much.

That's not like not being tolerant of something.

But I definitely feel like this past weekend I was telling my roommate I put my G7X in my pocket and then I put my coffee in my pocket.

Of course.

Like why would I do that? Coffee spill.

G7X fried.

uh-huh what's something small that now feels like a luxury to you um it's not small at all but my health like

What's one thing you've become way less tolerant of after everything you've been through?

It's like I just like don't stress as much.

That's not like not being tolerant of something.

But I definitely feel like this past weekend I was telling my roommate I put my G7X in my pocket and then I put my coffee in my pocket.

Of course.

Like why would I do that? Coffee, spill, G7X, fried.

And in what pocket? Like I have like this big coat pocket.

uh-huh what's something small that now feels like a luxury to you um

Why did you decide to be so transparent? I think I honestly

it comes a lot from my mom she grew up with like super openness in the household about all different things she was also a nurse so like I was very comfortable with the body she would like walk around the house naked growing up so I was just have been like a body's a body so when we're talking about these things like medically induced menopause or sexual symptoms from being medically induced menopause or like going through different treatments I think I feel comfortable talking about it because it's like everyone goes through these things.

And I don't think it's embarrassing.

Like all humans have bodies.

So it's kind of like whatever.

Like, why are you being weird, being all nervous about it? I'm fine.

And I feel like if I set the stage of being comfortable, other people feel more comfortable as well.

it's

What does life feel like for you right now?

[smacks lip] Oh my gosh.

Um, I feel like I'm in a totally new phase from, like, all of those big elements of, like, doing acting, growing up in front of the camera, um, being on screen all the time in, like, a very professional manner has now translated into, like, such a casual in front of the screen all the time.

Like, literally my job is talking to my phone.

Um, and then as far as, like, the cancer health stuff, I feel so l- like, I feel a lot of lightness in my life.

Whereas, like, before it was heavy and dark, and there was, like, a ton to work through, and there still is, but I think I've gotten to a point where, like, I feel so happy, and I didn't think that I would find that again.

So life right now is, like, joy and love and light.

What was the hardest part about treatment that somebody wouldn't understand unless they went through it?

... or you found on Doctor Google?

Thankfully, that's something that my doctor told me, but I know that's not the case of all women.

There are lots of women who come out of treatment and when are asked about their fertility or find out that they are infertile afterwards because chemotherapy and all of these treatments can be really harsh on your fertility.

But as you kinda mentioned, I, I froze my eggs.

I went through eight rounds of chemotherapy, and treatment plans are different based on the different subtype of breast cancer that you have.

So I did eight rounds of chemotherapy, which I lost my hair.

I was wearing a wig for a while, and then had a double mastectomy and radiation.

What does that mean, and why was that important to you?