What do we actually know from the data about what is best for kids and parents?

I think there are all of these different parenting styles with all of these different creative names, but we have known for a long time what the ideal parenting style is.

Diana Baumrind, back in the '60s and '70s, helped clarify that the ideal parenting style by far is an authoritative parenting style.

And what that blends is warmth, all of that good stuff, the validation, the loving, nurturing parent, but it also includes limits, right? It includes expectations.

It includes setting standards that sometimes are gonna mean that your kids are mad at you.

[laughs] That's what we know by far has the best long-term outcomes for kids.

And she contrasted this with other parenting styles, so a permissive parenting style, which is all warmth and no limits, right? And that is more associated with, not completely, but some of the helicopter parenting, the gentle parenting.

And that's where I think then people get frustrated because they feel like I've been trying, I'm trying, I'm trying, and then I'm on the other side, I'm screaming at you, which is also not where I wanna be as a parent.

Mm

...

in line with my values.

So if I have been asked to give a presentation, and I notice anxiety increase because I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of my classmates, I'm afraid that the teacher is gonna criticize me, and I notice the urge to stay home, I'm just gonna call out sick that day.

But I choose to go and give the presentation even though I feel uncomfortable about it.

That is being psychologically flexible.

The other side of that coin is psychological inflexibility, and this is when our painful thoughts and feelings really hook us.

Right.