Three, two, one.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs.

Father and Mother.

I know that your daughter has had a traumatic face injury, but I've also heard that she's recovering very well in the hospital and on her way to going home.

We just wanted to let you know the exact circumstances of what happened.

We were doing a watermelon launching contest because, you know, the kids always want to have fun.

And so we We collected the bungee cords and the netting and unfortunately the netting broke and on its way back on the rebound the watermelon actually went through the netting and hit the girl in the face.

Kicked out a youth group? Because all the kids have probably done it.

[laughs]

Um, we came across a situation in youth group, um, a couple days ago.

And as I'm sure your child has come home and tell, told you some very colorful stories about what happened in youth group, and we'd just like to clear up any confusion.

Um, we had some interns go out with our decor team and grab some balloons.

And in an effort to teach them personal responsibility and give them some trust on their first assignment, unfortunately they weren't paying attention to detail as much as they should have.

Mm.

And they brought back some balloons and blew them up.

Um, and so to make sure that we didn't waste the people's tithe, we made the most of every opportunity, and we were able to teach them about the, um, the male and female body.

I'm leaving a

voicemail.

Hey, this is pastor, youth pastor Mackenzie.

And I heard that you have some concerns about your daughter.

I just want to let you know that the reason why we decided that it was okay that she would be launched is because we actually didn't decide that it was okay that she would be launched that number one these children took this idea into their own hands whilst we were paying attention to some other kids and so because of that we're not liable you already know how children are although we are sorry um we can't pay for any medical bills because we've already prayed and so um And so if you don't get a miracle, it's kind of your fault because you are supposed to have faith by proxy.

You know how kids can be.

So love you.

So if you want

... that's gonna last this entire episode.

[laughs] That's disgusting.

[laughs] Not the trunk.

[laughs]

It was actually the, uh, it was-

No, I ke- 'cause, you know, like, how your mind will, like, gas stupid things? Like-

[laughs]

Like, I couldn't stop.

[laughs] I just...

I was like, "Why am I-"