So what are the things that people can be doing right now if they're maybe on the rocks or they're not on the rocks and they want to ensure that their relationship flourishes and continues to grow and thrive for the rest of time? What is it that they can be doing?

Number one, first and foremost, is always, always, always play.

And I don't mean date nights like you're going out for dinner.

I mean actually play.

Because there's something that happens with play.

It releases oxytocin, which is the love hormone that chemically binds you together.

And so if I'm working with couples, like we have date night every week, we go out to dinner.

And is there an ideal option? Is one better than the other?

Can you talk about that a bit?

Yes, I was a youngster.

[laughs] I'm no longer a youngster.

Uh, yes.

No, this was when the very r- early part of my time with the US government.

I was on a special program where we did rotations to other agencies overseas, and I was seconded to the UN Refugee Agency at the time.

Uh, and I started off as, uh, um, external relations, donor relations in the Dhaka office, but that is not where I, I wanted to be.

I love Old Town canoes

So when you're walking into a long-established organization like the UN Refugee Agency, as you did a decade ago, how do you first identify what changes are needed and figure out if they're even possible?

[chuckles] You know, walking into an agency like this, you know, you, you do a lot of listening.

You do a lot of, of discussions, and it is a time to be a sponge, both in terms of learning, what are some of the differences between perceptions that you had coming into the organization and what really happens in an organization? And you think as well about what the vision, of course, is of the leadership.

The new high commissioner was coming in in twenty sixteen.

So obviously, uh, a new leadership, uh, not just in the deputy role that I occupied, but also thinking about the vision of where that high commissioner wanted to go with the agency, what was happening in the world at the time.

You know, we had sixty-four million people that were forcibly uprooted from their homes because of conflict or war or persecution.

Um, we had, uh, you know, a budget, a needs-based budget that was substantial, but certainly not the size that it has been in the last couple of years.

Mm-hmm