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Dave Temple

Comedian

Oct 2, 2026

42:31
We watched it eight times in a row on the show this morning 'cause she's so hot.
42:34
Yeah, yeah.
42:36
What was the one, I forgot what it was.
42:37
I sent y'all one in a group chat where, where I was like, "Yo, y'all think this is real AI." And the girl had, like, a disability.
42:43
I don't know whether she was Down's or missing a leg or something like that.

17 MINS LATER

60:14
Uh, Dave Temple, what are you plugging, my friend?
60:15
Uh, just a podcast here on the network.
60:17
No Need for Apologies, uh, right after this as a matter of fact, so stay in a Racist Live chat, stay live.
16:31
"We'll figure it out."
16:32
That makes me wonder what came first when they say, like, art imitates life.
16:37
I've been on a huge reading binge these past couple of months.
16:40
I read all the time, but this has been, like, extra 'cause I've been trying to catch up on a bunch of stuff that my mom tried to make me read, and I'm like...
16:46
So Mark Twain, I've been on a tear of Mark Twain, and, uh, he had a book, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.
16:55
Similar story.
16:56
He is a foreman of, like, a welding shop in, like, uh, late 1800s or something like that, you know.

40 MINS LATER

57:32
Shouldn't the biology teacher do that?
16:00
"We'll figure it out."
16:01
That makes me wonder what came first when they say, like, art imitates life.
16:06
I've been on a huge reading binge these past couple of months.
16:09
I read all the time, but this has been, like, extra, 'cause I've been trying to catch up on a bunch of stuff that my mom tried to make me read.
16:15
And I'm like, so Mark Twain, I've been on a tear of Mark Twain, and, uh, he had a book, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.
16:24
Similar story.
16:25
He is a foreman of, like, a welding shop in, like, uh, late 1800s or something like that.

39 MINS LATER

56:01
Shouldn't the biology teacher do that?
17:10
Yeah.
17:10
He really seems to like me, like, genuinely.
17:12
And at the end of the night, he asks for my phone number, right? And I'm like, "Oh, all right, cool." You know what I mean? He gets up to go to the bathroom.
17:18
Uh, and while he's in the bathroom, I'm like, "I should ask Tyler to take a picture." But for some reason I'm scared to ask him to take a picture, and I'm, like, trying to work up the nerve for it.
17:27
His people, or his handlers or whatever, come back, and they go like, "Hey, do you have any spare clothes floating around here? Tyler, he messed up his clothes in the bathroom." And I'm like, "Um, sure." You know? And out of nowhere, uh, my wife goes into the basement and pulls out an old academic sweatsuit that I had just in a bin, and she goes, "Give it to him." And they take it in there, and I guess he's changing.
17:48
Now I'm like, "Okay, well, he, he likes me.
17:50
He asked for my phone number.
17:58
Yeah.
34:55
All wore the dress?
34:56
They were all drag queens or trans people, but, like, they're, like, driving a Cadillac across country, stopping through small town America and changing things, just making things fabulous, but also teaching middle America white women how to, like, stand up to their husbands.
35:13
Like, 'cause it's, like, cartoonish evil.
35:15
Like, the man is, like, beating the woman around the house because he put pepper in the sauce, you know what I mean? And they're like, "Uh-uh, girl.
35:22
You gotta stand up for yourself." Like, at one point, Patrick Swayze, like, goes in and kicks the guy's ass in a dress, you know what I mean?

15 MINS LATER

speaker_6PANELIST
50:09
[laughs]
50:09
And, like, Seinfeld's wife happened to know.
50:12
She was in the room, like, "Oh, Wale.

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