I donate to black MAGA girls.

This is literally – I mean, look, that is why grifters that have marginalized identities that choose the conservative grift are so dangerous.

Candace Owens is dangerous.

Milo Yiannopoulos is dangerous because they can point and say, look, a black woman, a gay man, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

They're on my side.

They agree with me.

I can't be the things you're calling me.

It's our money.

But the fact that you still think about that day.

Well, I do because I also am, I'm a big believer in the, in like...

I like that.

I like being p- I'm like, there is no reason we need to be in a bad mood.

Our j- lives are very charmed.

I'm like, I feel so lucky for this life, and, like, being stressed out on a film set when people, like, work in fucking...

I don't know.

But because this is, this episode is dedicated to you, and it's devoted to you, I wanna know what you and your mom have in common.

But I actually want to ask, what do you think is the most accurate stereotype about comedians?

Oh, my God.

What are the stereotypes about comedians? Stereotypes about comedians.

I don't know.

I mean, I don't really hang out with, like, I feel like a lot of the comedians that, I was in a bar last night, and I was talking to this guy.

I overheard him saying that he had a 2.45 a.m. pickup for a flight, and I was like, where are you going? And he was telling me whatever.

He's like, oh, I'm going to Charlotte.

Love or hate the way men act when their favorite team wins a championship?

Relax, an uneven skin.

Yeah, yeah.

So we all hide, and they don't come in.

[laughs] And then I'm hiding under a pool table.

So I'm under the pool table.

And the- they're shining flashlights in the windows, and they're looking around and they can't see no one.

Everyone's, like, up against the walls like this.

Wow.

Caleb, how about for yourself?

It was such a mixed bag for me.

Like as, I've talked about this a little bit, but as a fat person, like trying to get dressed for things is such a nightmare.

Um, but I will say like, uh, to, to talk a little bit about that next step of going to the film, I brought in like a certain level of anxiety, but like trust of course that like they're not gonna leave me hanging, like this is Devil Wears Prada.

And then, uh, everyone on the costuming team was so lovely, but Danny, my boy Danny, um, was just so sweet and wonderful and like had, had ideas and like had things ready for me that actually fit.

I've walked into so many sets and jobs where they didn't have a single thing that fit me or they asked me to bring my own clothes.

And so yeah, walking in and, and meeting Danny-

Juicy on the b- on the butt

Yeah.

And it was genuinely one of the first times that I was like, "Oh, maybe I don't have to hate myself.

Like, maybe there is a reality where I can just like myself and feel confident." And I owe so much of my, like, suc- like, any success I have or any, like, um, confidence I have on stage, I genuinely owe at least in part to watching that set for the first time.

Mm.

Like, "I'm so in awe." And I'm like, "How do you find the energy?" And she's like, "I just tell myself that I have it." And I'm like, "You are on another level than me." When I tell you she's going before shots, she's going into, like, what's supposed to be her office and being like, "Hey, you guys, can we talk really quick? Like, can we collab? Like, I think this vase would be different for her, and can we move this over he-..." Like, a true fucking artist.

[laughs]

But just going to these random places and, like, begging for laughs.

Um-So, but heckled, I will tell, the craziest thing that came to mind when you asked that was I had a show at, uh, this venue in LA called The Bourbon Room, like three or four tours ago, and I was running my hour.

And I wanna say, like, maybe I was bringing up the opener.

I had two openers, and I was bringing up the opener, and this woman came on stage.

A woman that I do not know came on stage, j- uh, I- I think drunk, but also on some other stuff as well, and she starts like, she, she goes, "Who are you? Who are you?" And I was like, "I'm Caleb.

This is my show.

[laughs]

Maybe they didn't know or they don't understand what that's really like.

I feel like it's funny because I keep hearing that we're all so divided.

Like I just, you know, this is like the political message of the last couple of years is we're so divided.

But I still live in Kansas City and I hang out with people who have all kinds of different ideas.

And I'm like, yes, of course, there's a national division amongst some like really key issues.

But I think like part of the work that we'll have to do if we want to come out of this moment any better is just understand like most people are actually, in my opinion, pretty nice and pretty normal across the board.

Like most regular people, more people don't vote than vote for the crazy shit.

Maybe I should start doing that.

Okay.

It's not just because it's you.

I genuinely...

And I actually have a funny Philly, uh, story that, uh, I'll tell you, but I love, I love performing in Philly.

The, the shows there are always fantastic.

The audiences are incredible.

There's a real, like, good comedy scene there, so, like, a sensibility and a, uh, an understanding of, like, how to behave at shows.

Love it.

He's so funny.

Hello, Handsome Pod.

It's me, Caleb Haren.

Thank you for letting me ask y'all a question.

Uh, my question for you is this.

If you were to be any meal, what meal would you be and why?

I think it's gonna involve, uh, Chili's.

My answer, I think I would be (laughs) I would be an appetizer sampler from a dive bar with a Dr. Pepper.