She ran the pub where Diane worked as a barmaid and saw her to her van the night that she was murdered.

murdered.Talk to me about this police officer.

How come you ended up speaking to them? Well, he knocked at the door and I said, "You're with the police." He said, "How'd you know that?" I said, "Well, you look like one." He went, "Oh, nearly me." He said, "Well," he said, "actually, no, I'm just coming," he said, "to see your husband." I said, "Well, come in." What's it about? He said, "But, yeah, we haven't got his DNA." And I said, "Whose DNA?" He said, "Your husband's." I said, "Well, take it off Mel then." So he just took a couple of...

took a swab.

He said, "Okay," he said.

Then...

And I was talking.

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I had started to express that I wanted to reconnect with my veteran friends.

I had a very tight-knit group of four that we all deployed to Afghanistan together.As I kept seeing it, he wasn't acknowledging it, but he was getting angrier that I was bringing it up.

So I, I did not want to let that control my decision.

I started planning.

I started reaching out to them, and we, we had a plan.

One of my friends took the conversation in a different direction.

Oh my God.

Then all of a sudden, one evening, with everyone looking at themselves flickering on a screen, he made his move.

That was the first time he specifically put his hand down the back of my body and under.

And it was within the group.

We were all standing watching, and I was slightly at the back.

He touched me from behind.

So I froze.

I just didn't know what that was.

Cooke would often abuse Siobhan and Anne together.

Was your marriage always open, and if not, whose idea was it to open it?

It was my idea.

Um, my, uh, partner and I got married five years ago, and when we got married, we got married under the auspices of we're going to be monogamous, but if that needs to change, then we're both gonna be open to that conversation.

And my partner always knew that I was queer.

He's a man and always knew that I wanted to have more experiences with women.

So a couple years into our marriage, I said, "I wanna sleep with a woman.

Do you wanna have a three-way?" He was not that into it, and so, and so I said, "How do you feel about me just going and exploring that on my own?" And he said, "Great," and was very supportive.

What was that transition like? What was that first meeting like?

Much more normal to fail than it is to make it." But then when they finally do make it, what is it in them that clicks, or what is them, in them when they go in that is different for when they make it?

Uh, I can tell you that there is a, a level of surrender.

Uh, a surrender to the process of recovery.

A resu- or a, a surrender to and an acceptance of a spiritual life, and really listening to someone else and doing it differently.

I can tell you that I am ...

I go to a program now, and an addict taking Adderall thought it would be a good idea to snort it, right? So that's the addictive mind.

And really when you surrender and say, "No, no, no.

Uh-uh.

Et ce besoin d'exister en racontant, en parlant d'elle, elle arrive tout à fait à retracer d'où ça vient.

Je suis dans une famille de six enfants.

Moi, je suis la dernière.

J'ai trois frères qui ont vingt-cinq ans, vingt-quatre ans, vingt-trois ans de plus que moi.

À table, ils parlaient énormément, euh, il y avait beaucoup d'adultes.

Très vite, ma mère, elle me, elle me dit qu'à deux ans, je me suis mise debout sur une chaise pour que tout le monde m'entende, pour que tout le monde me voie, pour que tout le monde m'écoute et que je me suis mise à, à parler en langage bébé sans m'interrompre pour que les gens, en fait, fassent un petit peu attention à moi.

Moi, j'ai été élevée dans une famille très bourgeoise et à l'époque, c'était : tu parleras quand tu auras fini ton assiette et tu donneras ton avis quand tu auras passé ton bac.

Elle me reparle notamment de cet ancien patron à qui elle a annoncé sa grossesse très tôt.

[laughs]

So we would, we would do lots of fun things.

And so, but I also, I, to speak to what Sarah was saying, as, as the teenage years rolled around for her and for the triplets, I was not great at dealing with the teenage years because all of that was the same.

It was either the same bad attitude or the same friend problem every day, and what they needed from me was just being present in my ear and sometimes some advocating.

Sometimes.

It's your turn.

Yeah.

I would say, "This, this child is going to be strong and smart and have her own opinions really early, so don't parent out of fear, and let her be her full self." That's what I would tell myself.

Yeah, Sam?

So, uh, Marilyn's discussion is reminding me of the experience of living in a community, which she essentially is, and which I am also, and, um, being willing to let go of what becomes known to us about other people's views about what we're doing.

[laughs] And, um, so it, um, yeah, letting go is, is key.

And Grace talked about, you know, the letting go of the clenched hand, where we're walking from a s-

Yeah.

So, yeah.

I mean, I, I had an incident last week where, um, one person sent me a text and s- and my husband's 91, I'm his caregiver, and she said, "Ed, Ed should not be swimming on his own.

Um, can you go and check on him?" Well, I knew he wasn't swimming on his own, he was meeting other people.

... journey with alcohol.

Sure.

Well, I, I'll just start with so today I'm 49.

I'm married, have two boys, and we live, um, north of Atlanta, and am doing great.

And, you know, looking back at my story, my family was just a...

We were just drinkers.

Like, we loved to have a party.

Hmm

Was the family very proud of her?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Oh, very much so.

And I think the sad thing of her dying so young when she was just breaking into the possibly international, um, art world, because her big show in London was a huge success, you know, just months before she died.

So that would've been a stepping stone into a bigger world.

And you always wonder, well, where, where would she have moved from, and where would it have gone? I, I think it was simply because she died just at that point.

They make you happy, looking at the paintings?

We're talking with Anne.

Anne.It's Saturday, day six of A Week in Her Wallet.

It was a very chilly day here in New York, but the sun was out and, uh, my boyfriend and I went for an eight-mile walk.

We love to walk, and on the weekend, since we're both off from work, we do a whole lot of walking.

So today was a really nice day.

Lots of walking, followed by going out to lunch.

He's wonderful.

You spent the day with your kids.

I don't see why not.

Okay.

So on the mountaintops of the Cloudlings where Zephyr would collect vapor, there was a phenomena that happened where the fir trees would collect snow and have it super cool where the rime would just start to crystallize on the windward side, and then there would be...

They'd look like almost trolls or people hunched over, too heavy on top, strange amorphous shapes, and that the powder would move over it in that eerie way that blurred the edges and made it feel animated.

And being up there so long, Zephyr was used to these things that always look like monsters out of the corner of your eye.

And so when one charged him, he didn't know what to do, and he took too long to fire.

And when he did, the grapple went, and its spiked edges pierced the thing, and it exploded towards him into the wind.

You can find me online at I Know Adam Seats in a bunch of places, usually on Blue Sky and eventually on NeoCities when I remember how HTML works.

But when Anne finally gave the name to the police, it was too late.

So eventually when I remembered his name, it didn't matter.

They'd, um, they'd sort of identified Peter Sullivan as, as the, as the, uh, the perpetrator.

So I told them the person I thought it was, who it looked like.

He said, "Oh, no." He said, "It's not him." So I said, "Well, you don't know that." I said, "Well, you're ask- asking me," I said, "and I'm telling you." I said, "My memory's spot on," I said, "and I think that that picture looks like this person." I said, "Bring the person to me," I said, "and put the picture next to him," I said, "and have a look." And he just dismissed that, you know.

They just, "Oh, no. Don't go there." That's the impression I got.

I mean, you know, don't be shaking the tiger [laughs] by the tail.

How mad though to have a picture that says, "Have you seen this man?" And you're like, "Yeah, I've seen that man," and he's like, "Nah."

On her way back, something was clearly very wrong.

Coming to cross under the flyover again, and I saw all the police.

I thought it was all cordoned off, but I saw all the ropes going around and tape.

I said, "Have you found a girl here?" And he just said to me, "You better go home." By this time I knew Diane hadn't got home, you see.

I said, "Have you found a bar maid?" So he said, "You better go home.

Just go home."

Anne hurries on with her young daughter, feeling a sense of dread from the scene she'd just passed.

Got to my nan's and she said, "You're an awful color." I said, "I know." I said, "I think they found a body." So she said, "Oh my God." She said, "But do you know what?" She said, "There was a merciful scream around here last night, and I thought, God, somebody's been killed." She said, "I rang the police." She said, "But I couldn't get through to the police." And I said, "Well, I think they found a body in this area" I said, "because it's all cordoned off."

It, it's, it comes off as light and not, you know, in that way.

Yeah.

Or I might just avoid and just be like, "She can't do it for some reason-"

Stand by.

A little s- guest star appearance.

The first Anne heard about The Salt Path was from one of her friends who'd read it and recognized her as the character Polly.

A friend contacted me and said, "Do you realize that this is you?" And that was mortifying.

It's like, well, it's, it's not me, and then I read some of it and it's like, I'm not reading any further 'cause this isn't true.

None of this is true.

This is just making out like everybody has always battered them down and stabbed them in the back and hurt them and upset them and done wrong by them, when actually a lot of the time it was the other way.

What is that persona?

That persona is the bandana-wearing, turned-up collared, brown boots, slightly worn jeans, hand on heart, turned-up hair, attitude of, you know, bumbling through life, and Sally facilitates that.

You know, Sally can be on her knees totally and utterly financially, and Tim will sit in the corner polishing his boots.

Right

... appearing, which I think was, like, [laughs] I thought, "What the heck?" [laughs] You know? I'm like, but I was six, so I don't know.

Um, anyway, and so it starts kinda doing this dance around the sky, and it, and it was close enough that it looked like a flame.

Like, like a flame or an orb.

Like, it wasn't, like, a s- uh, it was really interesting, but it started doing, like, circles, and then kinda making a triangle movement, and, and I was just kinda looking at this thing in awe, you know? Um, and then from that one fireball, it, like, split into two others.

Um, and it, it was like, now they're all kinda, like, dancing around each other, but they were making, like, geometrical shapes [laughs] in the sky.

Um, do you think it, it sounded like it almost had intelligence.

Yeah.