Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Jun 3, 2026 · 34 min · 10 segments
n this episode, I'm breaking down what Relationship OCD really looks like, why the search for certainty keeps you stuck, and how to stop letting intrusive doubts control your relationship.
Alex DiemerGuestKimberley QuinlanHost[gentle music] You love your partner, and then comes a thought, "Do I really love them? What if I'm not actually in love? What if I am with the wrong person? What if I never feel certain?" And you do what any reasonable person does, you try to figure it out.
And sometimes you feel better for a little while, and then the doubt comes back.
That cycle, the doubt, the checking, the temporary relief, that is not a relationship problem.
And the reason most people suffer for years before they find out it is OCD is because relationship OCD doesn't look like what other people think OCD looks like.
There are no hand-washing rituals, no counting, no obvious compulsions, just a relentless, exhausting loop of doubt about the person they love most.
Today, I have Alex Diemer, one of the therapists who works for me on my team in my private practice, and we are going to go deep into what actually relationship OCD is, how to know if you are suffering from it, and what the evidence-based treatment, specifically ERP, actually looks like.
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[gentle music] You love your partner, and then comes a thought, "Do I really love them? What if I'm not actually in love? What if I am with the wrong person? What if I never feel certain?" And you do what any reasonable person does, you try to figure it out.
And sometimes you feel better for a little while, and then the doubt comes back.
That cycle, the doubt, the checking, the temporary relief, that is not a relationship problem.
And the reason most people suffer for years before they find out it is OCD is because relationship OCD doesn't look like what other people think OCD looks like.
There are no hand-washing rituals, no counting, no obvious compulsions, just a relentless, exhausting loop of doubt about the person they love most.
Today, I have Alex Diemer, one of the therapists who works for me on my team in my private practice, and we are going to go deep into what actually relationship OCD is, how to know if you are suffering from it, and what the evidence-based treatment, specifically ERP, actually looks like.
