#254: 😌 If You're Going Into a High-Conflict Divorce, Avoid These 3 Mistakes

But first question, my ex is threatening to take me to court over everything.

How seriously should I take those threats?

The answer is it depends, okay? First of all, when you're an expert in this field, you hear this threat all the time.

I'm gonna take you to court.

If you don't do this, I'm gonna tell my lawyer and I'm gonna see you in court.

Most of the time, that is gonna go nowhere.

It's a threat.

It's a very empty threat.

If you are not a lawyer, you have no idea what truly can be heard in court, okay? So I say depends because it depends really what happened that triggered that threat to you, right? If you are in true violation of a legal agreement, like a parenting plan, or some other settlement agreement thing, yeah, you might be able to take your ex into court because they are breaching one of these contracts.

But if let's say they're late to a pickup and the other co-parent is upset about it and they're threatening, I'm going to take you to court, that's an empty threat.

So most of the time, I'd say a very large percentage of the time I tell my clients, I know that's scary to hear that, but it's not going to happen, okay? And plus, courts are very backed up.

So unless there is a serious emergency reason, chances are you're not even going to be heard in court for months.

So don't freak out if that's something you're hearing all the time.

Most of the time, it is just empty threats.

Kind of goes alongside, we have another question.

My ex keeps sending me nasty texts.

What should I respond to? What should I ignore? What should I save?

Yeah.

So the most important advice I can give to anybody going through divorce or a co-parenting paternity matter is that if you're having a non-amicable relationship with your other co-parent, your ex, whatever it may be, you need to keep your interactions limited and very black and white and not engage.

So if your ex is constantly hounding you, threatening you, doing everything to push your buttons and upset you, do not engage.

The only time you really need to respond is if you are co-parenting and you're required to respond to your co-parent within a certain amount of time because That's what your agreement says, that you have to give notifications within 24 hours, 12 hours.

If it's an emergency, it might be within two, whatever.

But it's really important that if you are being threatened or harassed by your ex, don't engage, okay? Maybe you feel that impulse to have to say something.

Create a notes app in your phone and go vent there.

Put it all there.

But first question, my ex is threatening to take me to court over everything.

How seriously should I take those threats?

The answer is it depends, okay? First of all, when you're an expert in this field, you hear this threat all the time.

I'm gonna take you to court.

If you don't do this, I'm gonna tell my lawyer and I'm gonna see you in court.

Most of the time, that is gonna go nowhere.

It's a threat.

It's a very empty threat.

If you are not a lawyer, you have no idea what truly can be heard in court, okay? So I say depends because it depends really what happened that triggered that threat to you, right? If you are in true violation of a legal agreement, like a parenting plan, or some other settlement agreement thing, yeah, you might be able to take your ex into court because they are breaching one of these contracts.

But if let's say they're late to a pickup and the other co-parent is upset about it and they're threatening, I'm going to take you to court, that's an empty threat.

So most of the time, I'd say a very large percentage of the time I tell my clients, I know that's scary to hear that, but it's not going to happen, okay? And plus, courts are very backed up.

So unless there is a serious emergency reason, chances are you're not even going to be heard in court for months.

So don't freak out if that's something you're hearing all the time.

Most of the time, it is just empty threats.

Kind of goes alongside, we have another question.

My ex keeps sending me nasty texts.

What should I respond to? What should I ignore? What should I save?

Yeah.

So the most important advice I can give to anybody going through divorce or a co-parenting paternity matter is that if you're having a non-amicable relationship with your other co-parent, your ex, whatever it may be, you need to keep your interactions limited and very black and white and not engage.

So if your ex is constantly hounding you, threatening you, doing everything to push your buttons and upset you, do not engage.

The only time you really need to respond is if you are co-parenting and you're required to respond to your co-parent within a certain amount of time because That's what your agreement says, that you have to give notifications within 24 hours, 12 hours.

If it's an emergency, it might be within two, whatever.

But it's really important that if you are being threatened or harassed by your ex, don't engage, okay? Maybe you feel that impulse to have to say something.

Create a notes app in your phone and go vent there.

Put it all there.