Aug 17, 2026 · 33 min · 12 segments
In this episode, we talk about why honesty and age-appropriate communication matter when a parent is facing a serious illness or injury. Child life specialist, Kacie Stehling, shares how families can…
Kacie StehlingGuestJulieHostOne of the things that we talked about that we've seen coming through a lot of conversations with families that we're connecting with or maybe on the support line or even when I'm out across the country visiting with people in conferences is I haven't told my kids yet.
And sometimes they are days into treatment and sometimes it's weeks and occasionally it's even months.
I think that it's important for us to talk about why we think it is so difficult for parents to say those words out loud.
Nearly all of the parents that have told me that they haven't told their kids yet, they've told me that if they say the words, then it means that it's actually happening, which is totally valid.
And a lot of parents have also told me that they're trying to protect their children's innocence.
But I like to encourage parents to shift the focus from, instead of protecting their child's innocence from the inevitable, to protect their relationship with their child by building and maintaining that trust.
You're replacing what you feel like they don't know with honest connection.
And I think that is such an incredible tool to give families.
I love how you word it that way.
As a clinician, we know that there are so many times that kids, they know more than adults realize.
We see this in every session we've ever had.
And parents, I know, often worry about talking about illness will make it worse.
Do you want to touch on the research and just kind of our experience as child life specialists and how that factors into what actually happens to kids when they're given honest, age-appropriate information about their parents' illness or injury?
And it says that when kids understand what is happening and they have accurate expectations about what they'll experience, then there's a decrease in post-traumatic stress.
So when a child is able to understand what's currently happening and what they can expect to happen, then they're able to move from being in a state of reaction to a state of mastery.
One of the things that we talked about that we've seen coming through a lot of conversations with families that we're connecting with or maybe on the support line or even when I'm out across the country visiting with people in conferences is I haven't told my kids yet.
And sometimes they are days into treatment and sometimes it's weeks and occasionally it's even months.
I think that it's important for us to talk about why we think it is so difficult for parents to say those words out loud.
Nearly all of the parents that have told me that they haven't told their kids yet, they've told me that if they say the words, then it means that it's actually happening, which is totally valid.
And a lot of parents have also told me that they're trying to protect their children's innocence.
But I like to encourage parents to shift the focus from, instead of protecting their child's innocence from the inevitable, to protect their relationship with their child by building and maintaining that trust.
You're replacing what you feel like they don't know with honest connection.
And I think that is such an incredible tool to give families.
I love how you word it that way.
As a clinician, we know that there are so many times that kids, they know more than adults realize.
We see this in every session we've ever had.
And parents, I know, often worry about talking about illness will make it worse.
Do you want to touch on the research and just kind of our experience as child life specialists and how that factors into what actually happens to kids when they're given honest, age-appropriate information about their parents' illness or injury?
And it says that when kids understand what is happening and they have accurate expectations about what they'll experience, then there's a decrease in post-traumatic stress.
So when a child is able to understand what's currently happening and what they can expect to happen, then they're able to move from being in a state of reaction to a state of mastery.
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