Ep. 42 Do You Feel Like You Have to Get Everything Right?

And where we can see perfectionism really show up is in our bodies.

I mean, if you're trying to protect yourself from criticism or judgment, the body is an obvious place to do it.

I mean, it's visible.

It's something you can attempt to control.

It's something that our culture is constantly telling us to improve.

So we can start to develop these beliefs that say, "Maybe if I can make my body look good enough, I'll be less vulnerable to criticism.

Maybe if I can get my body right, I'll finally feel like I'm good enough." The body can end up being this armor that we use to protect ourselves.

Because when we let go of that armor, we're touching something much deeper and we're raw within ourselves.

What I've noticed with the women that I work with is that when they begin healing their relationship with their bodies, they almost always see this perfectionism-type pattern or this need to people please or the fear of judgment show up in other areas of their life.

It's not uncommon that when you do the work to feel g- better in your body and you let go of dieting, you now shift that focus to being a really good mom or being really good at your job, being a really great friend.

And that's why by the end of the time when I'm working with clients, they'll often have this insight and realization, "What I'm noticing and learning here is affecting every area of my life." And I'm like, "Yeah, [laughs] it is," because the body was never really the issue.

It's what is underneath it that was upholding the behaviors and the way that you were feeling about yourself.

And honestly, I can see this pattern in myself, you know, even making this podcast episode.

[laughs] There's that pattern, that voice that comes in, this sense of fear that says, "Okay, well, like, I need to make this really good.

I want to explain it well.

I wanna make sure that I'm covering everything and that people really get something out of it." And there's nothing wrong with wanting to do a good job.

If we genuinely care about something, we're gonna wanna do the best that we can.

But what we do is we relieve that layer of needing it to be so good because it means something about ourselves.

We can do the best that we can, feel good about that, and then leave it at that, and know that it doesn't have to be the best or everybody needs to love it in order to feel good about the job that you did or to feel good about yourself.