On Neurotypical and Neurodivergent Relationships, with Dr. Cindy Ariel.

that I think you talk about.

And I mean, we could probably spend an hour on each one of these, but maybe we could kind of go down and maybe kind of encapsulate some of the patterns that you run across and that you write about in your new book.

So if there are challenges in communication, what might those challenges be in a neurodivergent, neurotypical relationship?

One of the ways people are diagnosed autistic have to do with their difference in communication with neurotypical people.

So that is so huge, right? Because when your brain is wired differently, everything is wired differently.

So the rules of communication are very, very different.

I don't want to keep saying like it's not all neurotypical people, it's not all autistic people, but that's true.

So whatever I say doesn't apply to everybody on either end.

But in general, there are a lot of major issues.

So one really big one is that autistic people tend to be more direct and holistic or neurotypical people tend to be more indirect.

And it seems so simple, but it isn't.

So there was a guy I was talking to and he was an autistic guy.

And he kept asking this woman out who was like in his college class or something.

And he keeps asking her out and she keeps having an excuse of why she can't go out.

Now, to most of us, that shows clear disinterest.

We're not going to keep asking her.

But what he said is, I think it might be disinterest.

But if she doesn't say it, there's hope.

So I'm going to keep asking until she has to tell me.

And she's probably neurotypical.

She's probably never going to tell him.

She might be going to ghost him or she'll hope the classes switch or, you know, some kind of way.

But that's a really big challenge.

It's a big challenge when you're living with somebody and somebody's mad so they're slamming drawers and slamming doors and their autistic partner is like why are you making so much noise you know they're not they're not thinking oh i just did a thing and they're pissed

yeah they're not reading the subtext they're not putting themselves in the mental emotional state of the drawer slamming person that they just offended