51 | Conversations about feedback in the bedroom

All right.

All right.

We're not gonna talk about that.

What else do we have today?

Well, I also wanted to, as a follow-up, we're gonna like follow up last episode, but we had this conversation about trust-

Yeah

...

in our last episode.

And my boyfriend has this habit of like the next day he always asks, "Well, how did recording go? What did you guys talk about?" And so it always kind of like sparks this conversation and- We, I, we started to talk about, like, the trust, and it kind of then, like, spiraled into this conversation that did end up talking about sex, and he shared some stuff about some of the things that we do in the bedroom that I didn't even know were going through his head.

He's like, and he's like, "I knew that I could ask you for these things because you weren't gonna see me any differently, and because I could trust you, and you were safe." We're not gonna s- not on, not on here and not on Patreon, I'm not gonna say what he said because it's not my story to tell, and it's why I'm a safe space, is 'cause I'm not gonna blab.

[laughs]

Right.

But I just wanted to bring it back in that building that trust outside of the bedroom transfers to all parts.

So even if you're trying to build trust in the bedroom, it goes both ways.

To be that safe person, to be that one who can ask for that thing inside the bedroom or outside of the bedroom, to build that trust is what makes sometimes the sex really hot, is that I know that I can trust what he says that he wants, and he can trust what I say that I want, and I can trust him to be like, "I'm not feeling that today." Like, today is a perfect example.

We were starting to fool around a little bit, and I'm like, "You know what? I think I just need a longer hug." He's like, "Okay, perfect." I'm like, "We can do this next thing next, but I just need, like, that extra hug," and he was perfectly o- okay with slowing things down, giving me that moment to kinda collect myself, and then we moved on to the [laughs] rest of the business at hand.

But I just wanted to thank you for bringing up that topic, because I think we think about trust with sex in, like, the kink sphere and, you know, trusting that your partner is telling you the truth about whatever it is you wanna talk about.

But I think to be that safe space for your person in general is just a really important part to cultivate in a relationship.

So that was, it sparks some interesting c- it always sparks interesting conversation afterward, but-

I know I love to go home and he'll, and I'll get the question, "Well, what did you guys talk about?" And I'll be like, "Oh, I don't know, just stuff." And sure enough, like an hour later, I'll be like, "Well, this came up."

[laughs]

"And now I have questions." [laughs] But I have to tell you, we also had a conversation, and it must have been last week.

I can never keep the weeks straight 'cause you do the editing.

It's fair.

[laughs]