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How Married Are You?

How Married Are You?

I Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe With My Husband #HMAY Ep. 302

Sep 8, 2026 · 48 min · 13 segments

She thought sex would be the EASY part of marriage.Then she got married.Almost a year into her marriage, a listener writes in because intimacy hasn't become what she imagined it would be. Her first…

She thought sex would be the EASY part of marriage.Then she got married.Almost a year into her marriage, a listener writes in because intimacy hasn't become what she imagined it would be. Her first sexual experience with her husband left her disappointed—not only physically, but by the way he responded to her in such a vulnerable moment.They've talked about it. He's apologized.But something still doesn't feel right.She says she doesn't feel emotionally safe with her husband. He believes spending time together, watching things she enjoys, and participating in her interests should create connection.But she's looking for something deeper.She wants him to study her.To be curious about her.To WANT to know her.And that disconnect has started showing up in their sex life.But we had to ask a different question:Is emotional safety actually the problem?NEW SONGS BY BELEAF: https://monopoly.lnk.to/fdphie BLACK LOVE STORY https://monopoly.lnk.to/4epgfn SUGAR WATERResources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7BLACK LOVE MERCH https://shop.beleafinfatherhood.com/Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref\_=cm\_sw\_r\_apin\_aipsfshop\_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-USWAYS TO PARTNER WITH US: Get special access to things we’re working on, extra content from our fam, and more on Patreon: https://patreon.com/HMAYSupport us with a one-time gift through PayPal: www.paypal.me/HMAYpodcastCONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:HMAY Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/howmarriedareyou/Glen: https://www.Instagram.com/beleafmelYvette: https://www.Instagram.com/mrsmelaninChocolate Babes: https://www.instagram.com/chocolatebabies/WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeleafInFatherhoodtv/Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

She thought sex would be the EASY part of marriage.Then she got married.Almost a year into her marriage, a listener writes in because intimacy hasn't become what she imagined it would be. Her first…

Speakers: Glen HenryHostYvette HenryHost

Listener Email: Emotional Safety7:34 – 11:57

G

7:34

Now, you guys are going to read the email that we got from our wedding party member this week.

G

7:45

Alright.

G

7:46

A couple months ago.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:49

Hello there.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:51

The title of the email is emotional safety.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:53

Okay.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:54

Hello there.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:55

I hope the whole clan is doing well.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:57

I'll get straight into it.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:59

I'll be married for a year soon and it's been a huge adjustment.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:02

The parts that I thought would be hard have been easy and the parts that I thought would be easy are hard.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:07

I didn't get married with rose colored glasses thankfully but that doesn't make the confusing hard parts any easier.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:14

So sex has been the part that I thought was going to be the easiest for me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:17

But wow.

G

8:18

Yeah.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:19

What a shock.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:20

My first time during honeymoon wasn't pleasant as expected.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:24

But also I was disappointed by how my husband didn't respond as graciously as I would have liked.

G

8:29

Okay.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:30

But we spoke about it and he has apologized a couple of times for how he let me down in that moment.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:37

And I think it has tainted sex for me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:39

But praying...

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:41

God will help me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:42

I'm sorry, but praying God will help me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:44

And so since the beginning, I need to make this bigger.

CommunicationRelationships > Marriage > Intimacy > Emotional Safety
ExpectationsPsychology > Emotional Health > Mental Well-being > Relationship Dynamics
Intimacy IssuesPersonal Development > Self-awareness > Communication Skills > Emotional Intelligence
Emotional SafetyReligion > Christianity > Marriage Guidance
Spiritual ConnectionReligion > Christianity > Marriage Guidance > Emotional Safety
Emotional HealthPsychology
MarriageRelationships
MarriageFamily
Mental Well-beingPsychology > Emotional Health
Conflict ResolutionFamily > Marriage > Couples Therapy
IntimacyRelationships > Marriage
Self-awarenessPersonal Development
Relationship DynamicsPsychology > Emotional Health > Mental Well-being
Communication SkillsPersonal Development > Self-awareness
Marriage GuidanceReligion > Christianity
Personal Development
Emotional IntelligencePersonal Development > Self-awareness > Communication Skills
Emotional ConnectionFamily > Marriage > Couples Therapy > Conflict Resolution
Couples TherapyFamily > Marriage
Religion
ChristianityReligion
Psychology
Family
Relationships
Emotional SafetyRelationships > Marriage > Intimacy

Listener Email: Emotional Safety7:34 – 11:57

G

7:34

Now, you guys are going to read the email that we got from our wedding party member this week.

G

7:45

Alright.

G

7:46

A couple months ago.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:49

Hello there.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:51

The title of the email is emotional safety.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:53

Okay.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:54

Hello there.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:55

I hope the whole clan is doing well.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:57

I'll get straight into it.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

7:59

I'll be married for a year soon and it's been a huge adjustment.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:02

The parts that I thought would be hard have been easy and the parts that I thought would be easy are hard.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:07

I didn't get married with rose colored glasses thankfully but that doesn't make the confusing hard parts any easier.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:14

So sex has been the part that I thought was going to be the easiest for me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:17

But wow.

G

8:18

Yeah.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:19

What a shock.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:20

My first time during honeymoon wasn't pleasant as expected.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:24

But also I was disappointed by how my husband didn't respond as graciously as I would have liked.

G

8:29

Okay.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:30

But we spoke about it and he has apologized a couple of times for how he let me down in that moment.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:37

And I think it has tainted sex for me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:39

But praying...

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:41

God will help me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:42

I'm sorry, but praying God will help me.

Y

Yvette HenryHost

8:44

And so since the beginning, I need to make this bigger.

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Topics

7 of 25

Communication
Expectations
Intimacy Issues
Emotional Safety
Spiritual Connection
Emotional Health
Marriage
+18 more

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