Why You Keep Misreading People Without Realizing It

This is a long, it's going to be a long answer.

Yeah.

All right.

So, so, It depends on what you're optimizing for.

So the difference, people use that a lot with communication and they use the sports analogy.

Sports is a hyper-specific layer of optimization.

So if you're watching NBA basketball players, you might be looking at specific lines someone took and it's all optimizing towards a goal of performance and improvement.

Human behavior is a little bit different.

So I really think that people usually watch themselves through a lens and of their own preferences.

So it's like slouching, like, oh, I should be, like, I'm a, you know, oh, body language, I don't give a fuck how I sit.

Like, that's not what I teach.

Like, I can sit like this or all that.

And Molly would be like, you're supposed to be a thing.

I'm like, I just don't really care.

Like, so it's what you're optimizing for.

So like, let's say, for example, if you were looking at your behavior through the lens of growing the podcast, That's specific enough to say, how do we need to ask questions? How do we need to make things clippable so that people get more space and so on and so forth? But then the problem is this.

You sort of have optimization of value and then you have suffering.

And those two things interact.

So I'm saying if somebody is going to sit and watch a video and be like, oh my God, I said the word... you know, so many times.

And now they're so focused on not saying, you know, that they are not themselves and they're not connecting.

So there's always this like weird trade-off.

And like, I think one of the more healthiest things is just to watch it and be like, okay, like what's one thing that I can do to improve the podcast for the audience? Right.

So it's never about you.

It's about like the actual audience.

And that can mean a lot of things.