TFMR: Multiple losses
Sep 2, 2026 · 1 hr · 14 segments
Hello and welcome to this episode of Time To Talk TFMR. In this episode I'm speaking with Lish who lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She tells us about her experience of third trimester TFMR…
Sep 2, 2026 · 1 hr · 14 segments
Hello and welcome to this episode of Time To Talk TFMR. In this episode I'm speaking with Lish who lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She tells us about her experience of third trimester TFMR…
Yeah, I guess, I mean, nothing prepares you for any type of loss really, does it? But I think...
Prior to even trying for children, I think I'd had this idea in my head of if there had been some sort of difficulty that came up for a child that was going to have a life-limiting impact for them, then termination would be what we'd do.
And I never really emotionally connected with that idea.
But yeah, as soon as you're hit with that scenario, it's so, so different to anything else.
And the other losses we've experienced, it's it was quite sudden um or you know still birth daughter um was a very very sudden unexpected thing but and I guess the TFMO it's still sudden but it's a different type of sudden it's sudden but this really prolonged process that you kind of have to wade your way through and figure out whereas yeah I don't think anything could have prepared me for that to be honest
yeah Yeah, yeah, I think I understand what you're saying because multiple times, you know, people talk about the sort of the limbo of TFMR, you know, finding out something on a scan usually and then you have this waiting period and, you know, you get this drip feed of information usually.
And that is quite a heightening experience.
It's a very odd experience.
I think a lot of women...
I know I sort of experienced at times a sense of disassociation with it.
Not to say you can't experience those things if you're going through a stillbirth.
It's just different, as you're saying.
You know, these are just different and they impact or come at different times or in different intensities, perhaps.
Yeah, yeah.
And I mean, it's...
The grief and the loss and the love for all of the children was exactly the same in terms of actually I was devastated.
That similarities across them, but that there's a heaviness and a weight to the process that you have to go through, whereas a lot of stuff's kind of out of your hands or is out of your hands with the sudden death of a baby.
But to have this decision to sit on your lap and try and grapple with...
Yeah, that dissociation was definitely there for a lot of the process.
Yeah, I guess, I mean, nothing prepares you for any type of loss really, does it? But I think...
Prior to even trying for children, I think I'd had this idea in my head of if there had been some sort of difficulty that came up for a child that was going to have a life-limiting impact for them, then termination would be what we'd do.
And I never really emotionally connected with that idea.
But yeah, as soon as you're hit with that scenario, it's so, so different to anything else.
And the other losses we've experienced, it's it was quite sudden um or you know still birth daughter um was a very very sudden unexpected thing but and I guess the TFMO it's still sudden but it's a different type of sudden it's sudden but this really prolonged process that you kind of have to wade your way through and figure out whereas yeah I don't think anything could have prepared me for that to be honest
yeah Yeah, yeah, I think I understand what you're saying because multiple times, you know, people talk about the sort of the limbo of TFMR, you know, finding out something on a scan usually and then you have this waiting period and, you know, you get this drip feed of information usually.
And that is quite a heightening experience.
It's a very odd experience.
I think a lot of women...
I know I sort of experienced at times a sense of disassociation with it.
Not to say you can't experience those things if you're going through a stillbirth.
It's just different, as you're saying.
You know, these are just different and they impact or come at different times or in different intensities, perhaps.
Yeah, yeah.
And I mean, it's...
The grief and the loss and the love for all of the children was exactly the same in terms of actually I was devastated.
That similarities across them, but that there's a heaviness and a weight to the process that you have to go through, whereas a lot of stuff's kind of out of your hands or is out of your hands with the sudden death of a baby.
But to have this decision to sit on your lap and try and grapple with...
Yeah, that dissociation was definitely there for a lot of the process.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.