Termination for medical reasons

What followed was loss, grief, and impossible decisions, and then just when you think one family has surely been through enough, they were hit again and again.

Today's conversation is about something that still isn't spoken about enough, TFMR, termination for medical reasons, and I think that even that name can completely fail to capture what it actually means for the families living through it.

Because this isn't simply a story about ending a pregnancy.

It's about wanting a baby, loving that baby, and planning a future with them, and then being faced with the choices that you never wanted to have to make.

But can you, can you talk us through the next steps then? So you're, you laid there, the tone of the room when you described that, I, I think we, we just all pictured ourself being there, and we ...

I personally could s- I understood what you were trying to say in terms of that.

So what happened then? You sort of got off the bed, they take you to a room, and they offer you the TFMR, which is the-

Yeah

Thank goodness some of them may be close to us.

But those closest to us may not be the ones that are most appropriate for the TFMR experience.

And hopefully, my hope is.

Once more of us have done these reviews and once I have them up on my website, I hope that some of the places that are not doing it right, that are not doing right by us, will add in a TFMR pamphlet.

Will add in, I'm sorry for your loss.

Will add in, oh, you're asking for footprints? Yes, we can do that.

We're asking to be seen.

as parents who are in a huge family crisis going through a family death.

That's probably been how I've survived it, to be honest, is just letting myself have that time to just let it out.

Our TFMR Stories.

Pregnancy loss support in the heartbreak of terminating a wanted pregnancy.

I'm Sabrina.

I'm a TFMR loss mom to my daughter Clara for high drops, cystic hygroma, potential chromosomal defects, and my own health.

My decision was for all of those factors and more.

And now I help other TFMR parents in their darkest hour, parenting through the impossible.

If you're listening to this, you found me.

Our TFMR Stories.

Pregnancy loss support in the heartbreak of terminating a wanted pregnancy.

I'm Sabrina.

I'm a TFMR loss mom to my daughter Clara for high drops, cystic hygroma, potential chromosomal defects, and my own health.

something so hard and awful.

So I'm so glad to have you on today and talk about this because it's so, so important.

And I like to start these interviews by asking you to share your favorite memory from the pregnancy or even after connecting moments that you've had with your baby or something you'd like to share with us that you hold dear.

Yeah, of course.

But me, I was intentional.

This is our TFMR stories.

I'm Sabrina.

I'm a TFMR lost mom to my daughter Clara.

I had to end my wanted pregnancy for hydrops, cystic hygroma, potential chromosomal defects, and for my own health.

And now I help other TFMR parents in their darkest hour Parenting through the impossible.

If you're listening to this, you found me, and that means you're not alone anymore.

You can talk to someone about this.

And yeah, so we went in, got called in under a fantastic consultant called Dr. Bailey.

She, yeah, she's, if anyone reads up on baby lost or anything like that in Northern Ireland, she was at the forefront of, Obviously, people have heard of TFMR and things like that.

And I'll get on to the options that we were given in a minute.

But she was sort of at the forefront of that to help because that was only legalized in Northern Ireland back in 2019.

You can't just go and get...

And I hate, and I won't even say it because I hate the word, but, um, well, you can just go and get it.

Or whereas here, like I say, like I said earlier, Dr. Bailey, she was at the forefront of being able to offer people TFMRs, um, You know, and that was it.

They said, look, you would have been eligible for it.

They also provide specialised bereavement care for those who experience termination for medical reasons.

For more information or support, please call ARC on 0207 713 7486.

Hello and welcome to Time to Talk TFMR, Termination for Medical Reasons.

I'm Hayley and joining me today from Christchurch in New Zealand is Lish.

Lish had a third trimester TFMR nearly a year ago now.

She has also experienced a stillbirth, miscarriage and IVF.

So welcome Lish, it's really lovely to have you here.

So, yeah, you've experienced quite a lot and a range of pregnancy complication, pregnancy losses.

I think it's amazing that you're speaking out about it when it's, when the culture surrounding it is still so secretive and taboo.

I mean, we talk about TFMR being the taboo within the taboo, but you know, TFMR and live in Ireland and it's the taboo within the taboo within the taboo, right? Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's really brave to speak about your experiences when that's what you're surrounded by.