This Trusted Place with John-Paul Davies: Mental Health, Therapy & Becoming a Therapist
Aug 6, 2026 · 46 min · 12 segments
Send us Fan Mail If you've recently realised you're bisexual while in a long-term relationship, one question often comes up: "Do I have to explore…
Rob Brooks CohenGuest
John-Paul DaviesHost
I, I mean, I was thinking with the thumbnail for this video to put the words, "Do I have to?" Because the, the actual-

... context for this is that a couple of people have said to me when they've come to an awareness about their identity, and some people only, some people go into, uh, long-term relationships with an awareness, other people realize at some point during.

And a, a question I will o- often get asked is some- you know, do I have to open the relationship? What does this mean as far as my, that sexual part of me, the same-sex attraction? You help people navigate, as I do, uh, those kind of situations often.

That's, uh, funny, 'cause I was working on a coaching resource yesterday and posing that exact question in-

in the text of what I was writing, like, so do I have to explore this? You know, I've realized this.

The, the real answer is, is a nuanced one, and maybe not gonna be [laughs] so y- helpful initially, which is like, you don't have to.

And it really is individual and depending on the person and the situation, like, there's no easy answer.

Um, the desire to explore it is very normal, and many, many people experience that.

And also, like, if you're already in a committed partnership, the love and relationship you've built there can sometimes be a, a barrier to exploring sex with other people, 'cause many people are monogamous, and that's valid to want and common also.

Some guys are content to come out and realize that they have sexual fluidity and to be able to talk about it and share it, but they don't have to be with other people, and they're-

Or, or if not perfectly happy, they're making that sacrifice for the benefit of their partnership and the agreements they've made.

Um, and then, and then I've also seen a lot of people who do need to explore it or want to explore it so much that it's getting in the way if they don't, and that can be challenging within a partnership.

I, I mean, I was thinking with the thumbnail for this video to put the words, "Do I have to?" Because the, the actual-

... context for this is that a couple of people have said to me when they've come to an awareness about their identity, and some people only, some people go into, uh, long-term relationships with an awareness, other people realize at some point during.

And a, a question I will o- often get asked is some- you know, do I have to open the relationship? What does this mean as far as my, that sexual part of me, the same-sex attraction? You help people navigate, as I do, uh, those kind of situations often.

That's, uh, funny, 'cause I was working on a coaching resource yesterday and posing that exact question in-

in the text of what I was writing, like, so do I have to explore this? You know, I've realized this.

The, the real answer is, is a nuanced one, and maybe not gonna be [laughs] so y- helpful initially, which is like, you don't have to.

And it really is individual and depending on the person and the situation, like, there's no easy answer.

Um, the desire to explore it is very normal, and many, many people experience that.

And also, like, if you're already in a committed partnership, the love and relationship you've built there can sometimes be a, a barrier to exploring sex with other people, 'cause many people are monogamous, and that's valid to want and common also.

Some guys are content to come out and realize that they have sexual fluidity and to be able to talk about it and share it, but they don't have to be with other people, and they're-

Or, or if not perfectly happy, they're making that sacrifice for the benefit of their partnership and the agreements they've made.

Um, and then, and then I've also seen a lot of people who do need to explore it or want to explore it so much that it's getting in the way if they don't, and that can be challenging within a partnership.
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