Sep 8, 2026 · 46 min · 11 segments
In this episode of Thinking CAAP, Beck Moore welcomes Kara Hardin for part 2 of a conversation about what happens after we recognize our patterns of striving, over-functioning, and self-protection…
Kara HardinGuest
Beck MooreHost
I think every one of us has a part of us that gets to say, "I'm too tired." Um, and I also think, like there are, there are a couple of beliefs that have shown up again and again in people who are striving automatically.
... or are you doing it based on you feel like you should or ought to be? Are you doing it automatically? And when I see people striving automatically, they believe at the heart of their existence, it feels true, they have no choice.
They believe on some level that they are not X enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not symmetrical enough, not resourceful enough, not blank enough.
If only they could be better or if only this external thing could happen, 'cause sometimes there are strivers that don't internalize the deficit.
Um, Lindsay Gibson talks about adult children of emotionally immature parents, and she says there's internalizers who take things on themselves and say the story's about them, and there's externalizers that say, you know, they're the people that are constantly like, "Well, if only I could...
If only that person hadn't done this." They're people who are constantly blaming others for their things.
And so if at the heart of automatic striving are those beliefs, we can go to deliberate striving.
So these are the beliefs that research shows predict greater success, whatever that means to you, and quote, "a better life", like in a very headline-y way.
I think every one of us has a part of us that gets to say, "I'm too tired." Um, and I also think, like there are, there are a couple of beliefs that have shown up again and again in people who are striving automatically.
... or are you doing it based on you feel like you should or ought to be? Are you doing it automatically? And when I see people striving automatically, they believe at the heart of their existence, it feels true, they have no choice.
They believe on some level that they are not X enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough, not symmetrical enough, not resourceful enough, not blank enough.
If only they could be better or if only this external thing could happen, 'cause sometimes there are strivers that don't internalize the deficit.
Um, Lindsay Gibson talks about adult children of emotionally immature parents, and she says there's internalizers who take things on themselves and say the story's about them, and there's externalizers that say, you know, they're the people that are constantly like, "Well, if only I could...
If only that person hadn't done this." They're people who are constantly blaming others for their things.
And so if at the heart of automatic striving are those beliefs, we can go to deliberate striving.
So these are the beliefs that research shows predict greater success, whatever that means to you, and quote, "a better life", like in a very headline-y way.
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