Becoming a Complexity Genius — Jennifer Garvey Berger

Okay, Jennifer, welcome to the show.

To get started, can you tell us, is there anything that you believe about coaching that might go against the conventional wisdom or that most others in the field might not be aware of?

That's a great question.

Thanks.

Yeah, this might go against the conventional wisdom.

I tend to think that coaches try too hard to add value to their clients and that if we spent a little bit less time trying to add value and more time really just being with our clients, that we might paradoxically add more value.

Interesting.

Okay.

Now, I heard a talk that you gave, I think it was a couple of years ago, and you said something that really jumped out at me.

So I wanted to ask you about this.

In essence, it was that light casts shadows and shadows cast light.

Can you maybe expand on this for us?

Yeah, I think that people know instinctively that the overuse of something casts a shadow, right? That every characteristic each of us has, even if we think of it as our finest quality, if we overuse that finest quality, we get into shadowy territory.

The thing that's been more of a surprise for me as I've worked with my clients is that it's often the things we're afraid of about ourselves.

One client who's afraid of being arrogant.

One client who's afraid of looking stupid.

One client that's afraid of looking passive.

These fears we have about what might be our shadowy sides are actually keep us they they limit our range quite significantly and sometimes dialing up like two or three percent of our shadow actually gives us space to be a fuller version of ourselves

that's so interesting and in terms of you know dialing up that extra two or three percent and helping your clients develop more of that range have you found anything to be helpful in that regard

So the first thing is for them to notice that they're doing it.

We need to notice what pieces of ourselves we're afraid of.

It's often something that in our childhood, our parents told us wasn't okay, or our first boss really looked down on, or sometimes it's something that we've gotten a lot of feedback about.

And so it's a part of ourselves that we kind of squish into a little box.

Finding out what that is is really helpful.

And then noticing how that thing, keeping it in a little box actually limits something that might be good.

Okay, Jennifer, welcome to the show.

To get started, can you tell us, is there anything that you believe about coaching that might go against the conventional wisdom or that most others in the field might not be aware of?

That's a great question.

Thanks.

Yeah, this might go against the conventional wisdom.

I tend to think that coaches try too hard to add value to their clients and that if we spent a little bit less time trying to add value and more time really just being with our clients, that we might paradoxically add more value.

Interesting.

Okay.

Now, I heard a talk that you gave, I think it was a couple of years ago, and you said something that really jumped out at me.

So I wanted to ask you about this.

In essence, it was that light casts shadows and shadows cast light.

Can you maybe expand on this for us?

Yeah, I think that people know instinctively that the overuse of something casts a shadow, right? That every characteristic each of us has, even if we think of it as our finest quality, if we overuse that finest quality, we get into shadowy territory.

The thing that's been more of a surprise for me as I've worked with my clients is that it's often the things we're afraid of about ourselves.

One client who's afraid of being arrogant.

One client who's afraid of looking stupid.

One client that's afraid of looking passive.

These fears we have about what might be our shadowy sides are actually keep us they they limit our range quite significantly and sometimes dialing up like two or three percent of our shadow actually gives us space to be a fuller version of ourselves

that's so interesting and in terms of you know dialing up that extra two or three percent and helping your clients develop more of that range have you found anything to be helpful in that regard

So the first thing is for them to notice that they're doing it.

We need to notice what pieces of ourselves we're afraid of.

It's often something that in our childhood, our parents told us wasn't okay, or our first boss really looked down on, or sometimes it's something that we've gotten a lot of feedback about.

And so it's a part of ourselves that we kind of squish into a little box.

Finding out what that is is really helpful.

And then noticing how that thing, keeping it in a little box actually limits something that might be good.