Jul 10, 2026 · 16 min · 9 segments
Send us Fan Mail Sobriety can be a miracle and still not be enough to make you well. When mental illness or childhood trauma is underneath the…
Only later in my life did I realize that part of this was that she had bipolar disorder.
My mother was absolutely clinically depressed, refused to go to therapy because she was smarter than everybody else, but self-medicated.
And it was so confusing to me because I didn't know that there was an actual thing wrong.
But then as I've shared in previous podcast episodes, it was completely justified by her as something she just needed to do to function, not function on a brain or mood level, but just function in the world in the way of, I just need to get a good night's sleep.
And so all of my intuitive senses around like something isn't right here, this isn't adding up, we're just completely gaslit and put out.
When I got sober in 2009, That was the beginning of reconciling with all the things that I was drinking and using over.
Now, fortunately in my case, I didn't unpack or discover that I actually had a true chronic inherited mental illness underneath.
a lot of learned behaviors and coping mechanisms from my childhood that I had to heal in order not to relapse and use again.
But in my particular case, I didn't have a mental illness, but I know a lot of people that did.
And it's so tricky because some people will get on prescription medication for a mental illness, but still be substance abusing.
Some people will stop using substance and get sober and then believe that that should be enough.
even though they're actually really suffering from depression and really need prescription medication in order to live well.
Only later in my life did I realize that part of this was that she had bipolar disorder.
My mother was absolutely clinically depressed, refused to go to therapy because she was smarter than everybody else, but self-medicated.
And it was so confusing to me because I didn't know that there was an actual thing wrong.
But then as I've shared in previous podcast episodes, it was completely justified by her as something she just needed to do to function, not function on a brain or mood level, but just function in the world in the way of, I just need to get a good night's sleep.
And so all of my intuitive senses around like something isn't right here, this isn't adding up, we're just completely gaslit and put out.
When I got sober in 2009, That was the beginning of reconciling with all the things that I was drinking and using over.
Now, fortunately in my case, I didn't unpack or discover that I actually had a true chronic inherited mental illness underneath.
a lot of learned behaviors and coping mechanisms from my childhood that I had to heal in order not to relapse and use again.
But in my particular case, I didn't have a mental illness, but I know a lot of people that did.
And it's so tricky because some people will get on prescription medication for a mental illness, but still be substance abusing.
Some people will stop using substance and get sober and then believe that that should be enough.
even though they're actually really suffering from depression and really need prescription medication in order to live well.
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