When Sex Starts Feeling Like a Chore: Rebuilding Intimacy in Your Marriage | Meygan & Casey Caston

You two are known for having couples talk about the stuff that they avoid.

And today's conversation is no exception.

And that is it's something that I find hard to talk about.

So I'm really excited about this.

So why is sex the thing that couples

dodge? Yeah, such a great question.

And if anyone's listening and you're feeling like, oh, my gosh, my palms are already sweating or my cheeks are flushed, that's normal.

So we want to normalize that it is very uncomfortable, especially if you don't talk about it often, because our secret to having anyone talk about sex is actually the more you talk about it, the more comfortable it becomes.

So I think a lot of people were not raised in homes where anatomy, sex, just even asking questions about anything in the realm of body image, sex, intimacy just wasn't normalized.

And so all of a sudden we're supposed to just, we grow up and we see what we see on television, which is a very skewed, over-romanticized, very fantasy-like version of sex and intimacy.

And we go and we get married and we're like, shouldn't it just be all natural? Shouldn't it just be organic? And the answer is no, it's not always organic and natural for the majority of people.

And so I think There's a lot of shame.

There can be a lot of shame in the back, you know, people's backgrounds.

Maybe someone listening had a really traumatic experience.

Like they was, you know, their first experience of having sex or oral sex wasn't healthy or it was scary.

And that kind of puts that fear in you.

And so you carry that into your adult life or into your marriage.

I think that's so true.

I mean, I grew up in the South and it wasn't something we talked about.

And it was something that We were taught from an early age that if you did that before you were married, you were a bad girl and not in the fun way.

You had done something shameful.

And so I think that that does carry into people's adulthood sometimes if you can't kind of figure out a way to overcome sort of the stigma and the shame that is associated with it when you're young.

So what is the best way? If you have a couple...

that comes to you and like maybe one's really comfortable talking about that and maybe one is carrying some shame like what would you tell them

well i think like megan said if you're not talking about sex then bringing up the conversation can feel really really awkward yeah i too also cameron was you know someone that was raised in a very conservative religious background so i couldn't even say the word penis without giggling and laughing and going oh my gosh So what really regulated for me and made this a more normal conversation was actually listening to other people talk about it in a respectful way and just saying these words that felt shameful or had some loaded connotations behind it, but talking about it in a very natural way.