Episode 413 - You Can't Do It All (And That's Okay)

Um, but this, this one phrase that, that has, uh, come up that I've been pondering is this phrase, "I can't juggle at all." Now, I've heard it by a couple different people, but specifically my sister-in-law, uh, as she, uh, talked to my wife and said, "I can't juggle all these different, you know, grown kids, kids who are still, you know, at home, uh, aging parents, grandchildren.

I can't juggle it all." And then I heard my wife say it all, say the same thing too.

You know, it's with grandchildren, and you got children, and you got children who are, I still have a homeschooler, you know, you know, and how do you juggle it all? And I've been thinking about it because I've heard lots of different people talk about it in different ways.

You know, they always make, or spinning plates, you know.

And you've s- or maybe you've seen the person who puts, you know, he has this, this glass jar, and he says, "How do you...

W- you know," and he puts these different sized rocks in here, and if you start with the little rocks, you can't get the big rocks in.

You start with the big rocks, and you can get little rocks in.

You can, until you can cram it totally full, and then, then he takes a cup of coffee, and he pours it in there, filling every little crevice and says, "There's always room for coffee." So, you know, maybe we've done...

Maybe this is an age-old thing that we're trying to come up with some kind of metaphor, I'm not even sure what metaphor means, um, but, uh, to describe life and priorities.

Um, but the one I'm thinking about right now is this juggling thing, and the idea is, how do you keep all the balls in the air? And, uh, you can, I mean, you can picture it in your mind when you even just say that, the, the juggling part.

You see some guy with three or four balls in the air, and he's throwing them up.

He holds onto them for a little while, and then he throws them up again and, you know, and the, u- until sometimes it comes all crashing down.

And I think what parents are th- talking about is that...

And this is not just, you know, parents of, uh, you know, adult children, but really parents of all ages, all sizes, with kids of all ages and sizes.

Um, and how do you do it all? And as I was thinking about it, and I know my sister-in-law, I know my wife, and I know lots of other moms, they want some kind of formula.

They want something that says, "Oh, this is how you do it.

You prioritize this many minutes for this, this many minutes for this." And this many minutes for this, so that everyone, everybody's need is met and that you're equitable to everybody.

I do not think that's how life works.

Um, in fact, um, I wish I could come...

And if you come up with a better analogy, better than juggling, because I don't...

Maybe it's not about juggling.

Maybe it's about just, you know, pick up, picking up one of the balls, enjoying it, setting it down, picking up another ball, enjoying it, setting it.

You know, meeting those needs.

Um, maybe they all kind of crash on the floor from time to time, and you pick them up again, and you apologize to one of the balls, and you're like, "Hey, sorry I haven't talked to you lately, but I need to spend more time with you." And one of the balls gets mad and says, "You never care about me." You know, and you're like, "How can you say that?" And, but I think that's closer to life, because it does ebb and flow.

And, you know, I think, you know, that there is no magic secret to how to deal with all that.