S02Ep22 - Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Shame & Trauma

yeah so in this process i ended up going through a journey of deconstructing my entire belief system and it was in my education of what trauma does to a person uh i delved into epigenetics and the trauma that gets passed down from generation to generation and i realized that the only way i was going to be the version of myself that i needed to save myself And to fully be able to love who I was, and then in turn, be able to love my children and my husband was recognizing that this person I had become was a facade.

It wasn't truly who I was.

And I began to deconstruct everything that I believed.

So there was deconstruction of religion that I had grown up with and walking away from that.

And then that leading me to the freedom of.

recognizing that my entire life, I had felt such shame around sexuality because of all of the things that had been presented to me and how they were presented to me.

Um, so that journey in the deconstruction of all of my belief patterns was the thing that like ultimately gave me the freedom that I get to experience today.

And that's kind of where I start.

All of my women is the deconstruction of what they believe.

And sometimes they find that they are even more concreted in their belief system.

And then other times we break it wide open and there's this beautiful recognition that there needs to be a change and they need to figure out what that belief system looks like for them.

I love that, too, because I grew up in a very conservative religious household.

And to this day, I still hold to my faith in many aspects, but I really just deconstructed and kind of tossed out all the rules and really made it about the relationship, the relationship with God, the relationship with a higher power and not...

OK, just because this you're doing it this way doesn't mean I have to do it that way.

And, you know, because we just go through things in our life.

And for me to be like, oh, because I just did this, then now God's not with me anymore.

I just couldn't I couldn't believe that anymore.

And so that was really helpful for me as well.

You know, my mom asked me the other day, she said, you know, what church are you guys going to? And I said, we're not.

And I said, I'm just really, you know, tired of the people, the people that just make it into something it's not.

And, you know, we just we do our own version of our of our faith at home and wherever we go, you know.

Yes, I love that.

And just really made it our own and what was important to us.

So, you know, to people out there just really struggling with that, I just remember different things happening growing up and being told different things and me just being like, this seems...

so wrong like why are we doing this I don't understand but you know everyone was doing it and everyone was being told and um you know that's just what you grow up with and I I don't want to have any bitterness or anger against my parents or even the people who taught me those things because again they were just following the system and And, you know, and my parents with the purest of heart and intention because religion truly did save and change their lives.