A big juicy girl talk …..

So the first thing, cause I had a birthday and you know, birthdays are such a con, I feel like I've never enjoyed the, this is the first birthday where I genuinely feel like I've actually been happy.

I'm being dead serious.

I definitely have been happy as in not, not, that's not in a morbid like, Oh, I've never been happy.

No, no, no.

I just mean like I fully relaxed.

Like I've not felt constipated.

I usually feel very constipated.

Um, on my birthday, mentally constipated.

That is cause I'm always physically, I'm always constipated cause it's just, something's wrong with me but uh no i've been checked it's probably just results of the celiac um i don't know i don't know i just get take big shits but it's fine and they get stuck but anyway it's just not the point um mentally like feeling like i have to have i feel like birthdays are such a thing where you feel like you have to have a good time so then you're conscious I should be having a good time I should be really happy and these people are giving me gifts and I'm an ungrateful brat if I'm not happy but then you know is it is I'm just trying to be happy is it and I feel like it's time what really highlights issues it highlights when you people that you've not got around it highlights maybe if you don't have a partner if you don't have good friends it highlights a lot of things it's like weddings birthdays they're all it's hard occasions are so hard because you should be happy it's like you feel really a bit ungrateful for not being happy but then you're also entitled to not feel happy it's a bit of a constipation you know it's so you know it's such a whirlwind um and it's good to hold yourself accountable and be like no I need to be grateful I wouldn't you know I mean I'm grateful for a roof over my head blah blah blah but it's just been a weird time where I feel like I've never fully felt content whereas this birthday I have and also this birthday I felt the youngest I've ever felt and when I say youngest I mean just like free and silly like I've always just felt so like bunged up um first question and a lot of questions I get because I have such a wide age range that watch me which is what I like because I never want it to just be like one age um is someone said I'm scared of aging and bitch this is what I've got to say to you I want to shake you because you better make it a thing now you better say to yourself if you're going to be scared of something that you can't get away from it's pathetic You can be scared of spiders, that's fine.

You can probably stay away from spiders quite a bit in your life.

Ageing's going to get you.

It's going to get you.

You're going to age.

I'll tell you what, it creeps up on you.

And if you, I have the rule, like I said, I have a rule on my page, on my podcast, on everything I do.

If you can change, if you hate something, if you can change it, cool.

You better sort out the root.

Make sure you don't hate it because society's told you to hate it or because your Instagram's told you, or people you follow on Instagram have told you to hate it.

If you genuinely hate it and you can change it, cool, go change it.

But if you can't change something, you better like it.

You better.

You got no option.

You better fucking love it, okay? There's no decision.

So you better love getting older because it's happening to you.

You can't escape it.