Episode 44: Sasha Ellen

Enjoy! Hello.

Hello, I thought I'd give you guys a second to get used to someone who looks like they both work at and go to a primary school.

I know.

I know I have the face, hair and voice of all of your primary school teachers.

And if I get tired in the middle of this set, I will put on a video.

I'll do it.

A little while ago, I got a review for a comedy show that I did and the review called me, and I quote, a horny CBeebies presenter.

Guys, that's somebody nobody wants to see, right? Like nobody's tuning in to Big Cock Little Cock.

Oh, you guys are, okay, good.

Found my audience, excellent.

A little while ago, I was at a bar down the road and a gentleman came and tried to chat me up by telling me that I look like an aging child actor.

And then he tried to have sex with me.

Like now when people try to chat me up, I've got to figure out whether they're horny or nostalgic.

Which is something I want to do.

Same bar, same bar guys.

A lovely gentleman walked up to me.

He was 19 years old.

And when he found out how old I was, he called me a MILF.

I know, he's 19 years old.

And do you know what? This is the first time in my life that I did this maths.

I did the maths, and do you know what? Legally, could have birthed him.

I could have done it! The thing is, I know that I'm in quite a weird place in my life for , and I know that, because Facebook does not understand what to fucking sell me.

They don't know what to do.

In the last month, Facebook has tried to sell me fertility treatment, herbal Viagra, protein powder, and a denim thong.

I want to have the midlife crisis Facebook thinks I'm having.