The Positive Births NZ podcast
Sep 19, 2026 · 1 hr 23 min · 16 segments
More than just a birth story, in this episode we chat on somedeep and meaningfuls like death, loss and grief and children who remember before they were conceived. Wai speaks to the empowerment of a…
But I, yeah, people kind of asked me how to explain the grief and how it felt losing her, you know, while I was pregnant.
And
I
think before she passed, when I was in the anticipatory grief stage, ground felt very shaky and uneven and like there were potholes everywhere that i was constantly stepping in you know it was i didn't know what to expect but on the other side since she's left us earth side it feels the ground feels calm and stable and fertile you know like it's yeah grief is such a doorway and i feel like i'm i've barely even stepped through it and yeah these different stages of unlocking new things as well.
It kind of felt like I was in this, yeah, this interesting like pregnancy portal where like mum was alive when I was, you know, in my early stages of pregnancy and I kind of felt like it was closing such a big chapter there.
Once I gave birth to Taika, it was kind of, yeah, it's kind of hard to explain actually.
How do you work with grief? Because it's different for everyone.
And you said you wanted to, you came, you came home away from Perth and you wanted to focus on being pregnant and working through your grief.
Are there any particular things that you do that work for you?
Well, so meditation and journaling, my two major things in breath work as well, but then just also being able to really sit with it and let myself, you know, think about her and, you know, cry and really let it move through me as well.
And it can be hard finding those pockets of time when you're a mother, you know, it's like, it's, it's pretty rare that you have that alone time
where you
can fully just release and just let yourself go there as well.
So it was, yeah, I didn't like, I don't want to store it.
Like I want to, I want it to move through me and I want to feel it.
i want to release it and i want to kind of let it come up when it does like i'm i was always very open with adia and i wasn't afraid to cry around her like she was very aware of what was going on and also very empathetic it was so sweet
like i
i'm grateful to have been mothering through this grief especially a little girl i feel like it's been really nurturing and being able to lay with her and cry and bask in our love and and for it to just remind me how eternal and special that mother-daughter, well, mother-child bond is, you know.
And she, you know, if she'd ever see me upset, she'd come up and say, Mama, are you sad about Nanny? I'm sad too.
And she'd hug me and I was just like, oh, gosh, I didn't expect this, you know.
Oh, it's
funny how the little ones obviously intuitively know, don't they? And...
What a great example you're setting up for her to be able to deal with grief in her life going forward.
Because the crazy thing is, is that we're all going to experience it.
And yet, do we ever talk about it? Do we ever get taught about it? Or did we ever get taught about it? Yeah, in a lot of cases, the answer is no.
But I, yeah, people kind of asked me how to explain the grief and how it felt losing her, you know, while I was pregnant.
And
I
think before she passed, when I was in the anticipatory grief stage, ground felt very shaky and uneven and like there were potholes everywhere that i was constantly stepping in you know it was i didn't know what to expect but on the other side since she's left us earth side it feels the ground feels calm and stable and fertile you know like it's yeah grief is such a doorway and i feel like i'm i've barely even stepped through it and yeah these different stages of unlocking new things as well.
It kind of felt like I was in this, yeah, this interesting like pregnancy portal where like mum was alive when I was, you know, in my early stages of pregnancy and I kind of felt like it was closing such a big chapter there.
Once I gave birth to Taika, it was kind of, yeah, it's kind of hard to explain actually.
How do you work with grief? Because it's different for everyone.
And you said you wanted to, you came, you came home away from Perth and you wanted to focus on being pregnant and working through your grief.
Are there any particular things that you do that work for you?
Well, so meditation and journaling, my two major things in breath work as well, but then just also being able to really sit with it and let myself, you know, think about her and, you know, cry and really let it move through me as well.
And it can be hard finding those pockets of time when you're a mother, you know, it's like, it's, it's pretty rare that you have that alone time
where you
can fully just release and just let yourself go there as well.
So it was, yeah, I didn't like, I don't want to store it.
Like I want to, I want it to move through me and I want to feel it.
i want to release it and i want to kind of let it come up when it does like i'm i was always very open with adia and i wasn't afraid to cry around her like she was very aware of what was going on and also very empathetic it was so sweet
like i
i'm grateful to have been mothering through this grief especially a little girl i feel like it's been really nurturing and being able to lay with her and cry and bask in our love and and for it to just remind me how eternal and special that mother-daughter, well, mother-child bond is, you know.
And she, you know, if she'd ever see me upset, she'd come up and say, Mama, are you sad about Nanny? I'm sad too.
And she'd hug me and I was just like, oh, gosh, I didn't expect this, you know.
Oh, it's
funny how the little ones obviously intuitively know, don't they? And...
What a great example you're setting up for her to be able to deal with grief in her life going forward.
Because the crazy thing is, is that we're all going to experience it.
And yet, do we ever talk about it? Do we ever get taught about it? Or did we ever get taught about it? Yeah, in a lot of cases, the answer is no.
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