Is PDA Really A Nervous System Disability? The Answer Has Profound Consequences. #25

So, one of the most influential people in this space recently stated that the following is a truth.

They said, "PDA is a fluctuating nervous system disability." But that's dishonest, and it's wrong to say that it's a truth or a fact.

There is no research that has shown that to be true.

Now, it is a belief.

It's a theory that people have, and you can believe that passionately, but it still doesn't make it a fact or a truth.

It's an opinion, just like mine.

And I, I understand completely why people want to say our kids have a nervous system disability.

Part of it is we don't want our kids with PDA judged as if they are just being defiant or having behavior issues.

We want to combat the judgment that these kids just need some good old discipline and consequences.

When a ch- just say this, like, when a, one of our kids experiences a severe meltdown over something simple, right? A simple request like, "Hey, put on your shoes," traditional behavioral frameworks label them as defiant, bad, or manipulative.

By reframing the experience as an involuntary physical nervous system threat response, it immediately forces parents, teachers, spouses, partners to stop punishing the behavior and instead lower demands to establish felt safety.

I think others use this term to encourage people to take PDA seriously.

I get that.

The PDA community rallies around calling it a nervous system disability, because to me, that's a short-term, shorthand term that evokes empathy, and empathy is certainly necessary, both for our kids and for you as parents who are helping our kids.

But I also think it's self-limiting, and many experts and parents kind of just stop at empathy.

And I think this leads parents, and especially compassionate moms, to sometimes be manipulated by coaches and others who play on that empathy.

I think it also leads to a lack of, well, actually helpful strategies and an over-reliance on accommodations, and that can hurt our kids in the long run.

So let's go through this.

So, one of the most influential people in this space recently stated that the following is a truth.

They said, "PDA is a fluctuating nervous system disability." But that's dishonest, and it's wrong to say that it's a truth or a fact.

There is no research that has shown that to be true.

Now, it is a belief.

It's a theory that people have, and you can believe that passionately, but it still doesn't make it a fact or a truth.

It's an opinion, just like mine.

And I, I understand completely why people want to say our kids have a nervous system disability.

Part of it is we don't want our kids with PDA judged as if they are just being defiant or having behavior issues.

We want to combat the judgment that these kids just need some good old discipline and consequences.

When a ch- just say this, like, when a, one of our kids experiences a severe meltdown over something simple, right? A simple request like, "Hey, put on your shoes," traditional behavioral frameworks label them as defiant, bad, or manipulative.

By reframing the experience as an involuntary physical nervous system threat response, it immediately forces parents, teachers, spouses, partners to stop punishing the behavior and instead lower demands to establish felt safety.

I think others use this term to encourage people to take PDA seriously.

I get that.

The PDA community rallies around calling it a nervous system disability, because to me, that's a short-term, shorthand term that evokes empathy, and empathy is certainly necessary, both for our kids and for you as parents who are helping our kids.

But I also think it's self-limiting, and many experts and parents kind of just stop at empathy.

And I think this leads parents, and especially compassionate moms, to sometimes be manipulated by coaches and others who play on that empathy.

I think it also leads to a lack of, well, actually helpful strategies and an over-reliance on accommodations, and that can hurt our kids in the long run.

So let's go through this.