Aug 20, 2026 · 25 min · 11 segments
**“Just Tell Me What to Do!”** ***Helping Parents Find Their Own Way Through Parenting Dilemmas*** In this **Grounded Reflections** episode of the **Parent Hope Podcast**, David Brown talks with…
Jenny BrownHost
David BrownHost
And you're right, David, that while I didn't cover this all, this- that much in the interview with Kathleen Smith, I did have that typical experience after a book launch or after any parent talk where a parent comes straight up to me and says, "Here's my situation.
Tell me what to do." So I think the starting point is acknowledging that parents have a really good reason for wanting [laughs] to ask that.
So when they say to me, "What should I do? Tell me what to do," there's a lot underneath that question-
And I want to be helpful, but I don't wanna get caught in that temptation to answer and give them an easy answer, a quick fix.
The parent who wants it [laughs] and the practitioner, the, who is wanting to help, and they might quite enjoy giving what the parent wants.
A lot of us, like me, were steadied in my family of origin by being a helper, being a helper to my mom.
She valued my advice [laughs] on things, so oh, I've been primed to be over helpful and it's a lot of what I've worked on over the years to step out of the road, to give people the space to grow their own agency.
So it can feel really good to be in that expert role and to feel that we've got this wisdom to impart, but I'm really aware of all of the parenting advice out there, all of the noise out there, and that I think it can contribute to parents' overwhelm and their dependency on experts.
So while it's attractive for the helper to share ideas that they think are helpful or they've read in a textbook, I just don't think it helps the parents in the long term.
And you're right, David, that while I didn't cover this all, this- that much in the interview with Kathleen Smith, I did have that typical experience after a book launch or after any parent talk where a parent comes straight up to me and says, "Here's my situation.
Tell me what to do." So I think the starting point is acknowledging that parents have a really good reason for wanting [laughs] to ask that.
So when they say to me, "What should I do? Tell me what to do," there's a lot underneath that question-
And I want to be helpful, but I don't wanna get caught in that temptation to answer and give them an easy answer, a quick fix.
The parent who wants it [laughs] and the practitioner, the, who is wanting to help, and they might quite enjoy giving what the parent wants.
A lot of us, like me, were steadied in my family of origin by being a helper, being a helper to my mom.
She valued my advice [laughs] on things, so oh, I've been primed to be over helpful and it's a lot of what I've worked on over the years to step out of the road, to give people the space to grow their own agency.
So it can feel really good to be in that expert role and to feel that we've got this wisdom to impart, but I'm really aware of all of the parenting advice out there, all of the noise out there, and that I think it can contribute to parents' overwhelm and their dependency on experts.
So while it's attractive for the helper to share ideas that they think are helpful or they've read in a textbook, I just don't think it helps the parents in the long term.
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