Playback: What Nobody Tells You About Rape

If you could improve things, how would you change things? Either in terms of the law or the way things are discussed?

I mean, my God, the law, like, much better sentencing for a start.

And generally just not treating the victim like they're guilty.

Not treating the victim like they've done something wrong and that they need to prove themselves.

More information.

Because I... i've never read anything like my own story and i don't think my story is that different like yes there are certain elements like it is less likely that you're going to get a guilty verdict the whole immigration thing completely left field but the main components of it of what it feels like of how it's gonna impact your life of how how to deal with relationships, how to deal with friendships, how to deal with medical appointments, how to deal with jobs, how to deal with mental health.

There just isn't that there.

And women's charities are just so chronically underfunded that they can barely keep themselves by water and just be trying to help the victims who are absolutely at the worst end and desperately need it.

But then if you...

If you're able to pick yourself back up, if you're able to go on with your life, you get nothing.

Did your attacker get deported?

Yes.

Do you find yourself Googling him?

no I did before he got released I was googling him trying to find his court records because there was like a moment where I wanted to know what he'd said about me and wondered and I couldn't find it what I could find was a summary I think of an appeal and the judge had said he shows no remorse and I just thought wow

how often do you think of him now

not that often I've worked so hard on myself, I've tried to turn this into something of mine.

Because that's the thing, is that it happens to you.

It happens to you.

It's done to you.

So the only way I felt I could get through it was saying, okay, I'm taking ownership of this.

This is not about him anymore, this is about me.

This is about how I've recovered, what I continue to deal with, how I can be strong from it and how I can talk about it so that other people don't feel as alone as I felt.