What I've Learned From Coaching Hundreds of Men...

The first thing is everyone thinks their struggle is unique.

It usually isn't.

So it's very, very easy to look at our life and think, oh, my God, like I'm the only person that feels this way.

And I mentioned this, you know, I do run quite a lot about social media.

I think it's magnificent in so many ways.

But I do think generally speaking, it's probably a little bit more toxic than it is positive, to be honest with you, because we are surrounded by people's highlight reels.

And yes, there are people out there doing great things.

Yes, there are people being honest and vulnerable out there.

But I find a lot of the time when people are being honest and vulnerable, you see that there's a little bit of a hidden agenda behind it.

I am going to reveal my vulnerability to build trust with you and then try and sell you something.

So I think there's a little bit of that going on.

And also, I think when people share vulnerable things, it's usually from a position that they frame it in a way that they, you know, they feel like in a better spot.

And again, this is something that was told by me by a coach many years ago.

He said, like, share don't share wounds but share scars a wound is something that is raw and something that you're going through so you don't necessarily want to share that whilst you're going through it because that can be seen as a weakness you know especially if you're a coach or especially if you're in a position whether you're a manager you know some kind of leader you don't necessarily want to admit that you're going through a hard time and i get that whereas in a scar is like right you've You've got past that, you've got the scar, you've got the lessons, and now you can talk from experience.

And again, full transparency, this is with a lot of the stuff that I share, the vulnerability stuff, it's stuff that I've actually processed and worked through, but I tend not to share it when it's raw.

Like I mentioned last year about going through a really difficult time.

Last year was very difficult for me personally.

Lost a member in the family who took their own life.

And as I was going through that, I didn't feel comfortable.

I didn't know really how to share it.

I didn't know what was going on in my own head.

I had to get help and support.

And that was a topic I didn't feel comfortable about.

But now I've come out the other side, I feel comfortable to be able to share that.

But the downside is not many people would actually share that.