The Reason You Can't Get What You Want

Everybody, give me 20 minutes because I'm about to share with you something that has changed lives of the highest performing people I've ever worked with, whether Olympiians, Hall of Famers, CEOs, mothers, athletes, entrepreneurs, and it's changed my own life more than many of the things that I've ever taught.

And here's what I want to say upfront.

This is not a motivational video.

I'm not going to tell you to believe in yourself.

I'm not going to tell you to visualize harder.

I'm not going to, you know, g- tell you this is what you gotta do, but not tell you anything that you can implement, right? I'm not going to just give you feel-good language and send you back into a life where nothing actually changes.

So what I'm going to do is walk you through a mechanism, something that is happening in your body every time you want something that you don't know is happening.

And once you see it, you can't unsee it.

And once you can't unsee it, you have real power over it.

So here's the frame I want you to hold for the next 20 minutes.

Almost everything you've been taught about how to get what you want, like visualize it, focus on it, want it hard enough, refuse to let it go, keep it front and center, that's only half of the story, and it's the half that most of the time actually blocks you from getting the thing that you want.

So there's a second half nobody ever taught you, and that second half is the difference between the people who reach their goals and the people that s- and, and they stay whole when they reach those goals and while they're doing it, and there's a difference between them and the people who chase their whole lives and never quite arrive, or arrive exhausted, or arrive and immediately need the next thing.

So let me show you what I mean.

L- let me tell you first, when I first began to understand this years ago, I was working with a woman who was successful by every measure you could name, you know, beautiful family, real career, financial freedom, health, and she came to me because she was miserable.

[laughs] She had a specific list of things she still wanted.

She could name every one of them.

She had been wanting them, working towards them, visualizing them, praying for them for years, and no matter what she did, they weren't coming.

So remember, I rem- you know, I sat there, and I remember sitting across from her and, and I asked one question.

I said, "When you think about the thing you want most, what does your body do?" And she sat with it for a mi- a minute, a moment, and she said, "Well, my chest tightens, and my jaw locks, and my gut goes hard." And I said, "How long has your body been holding that state around this want?" And she said, "Years." And in that exact moment, I understood something that reorganized my whole career.

This woman was not failing to get what she wanted because the universe was against her.

She was not failing because she wasn't working hard enough.

She was not failing because she didn't want it enough.

She was failing because the internal state she was wanting from was the exact state that has, that was blocking the outcome from arriving.

Her body had been treating every wanted thing as a survival emergency for years, and that matters.

'Cause how much...