Dagmara AsbreukGuest
Hilmarie HutchisonHostYou've mentioned that during your struggles, you were suffering alone, caught between trying to prove yourself and holding yourself back.
Why do so many highly intelligent, capable high achievers fall into this specific exhausting trap? Why is the C-suite still such an isolating matrix where leaders feel they can't be honest about their internal pressure or struggles?

And why, right? The second question is why it's maybe a space where it's discomfort, right? To dive in, to look deeper.

First of all, most of the people and most of leaders unconsciously in the vortex of proving themselves or chasing success, chasing recognition, to feel valued, to feel respected, to feel successful, whatever it is, are fulfilled as well, right? And why we...

have those traps and run on those kind of engines is just going back to unmet needs in a childhood.

Every story like that is linked with something that happens in a childhood, big or small, traumatic or not, and where some of our needs of love, of safety, of being valued, being recognized, being appreciated has not been met.

often below the age of seven, build self-perception, build beliefs about ourselves and the stories and narratives about how we need to achieve or how the success looks like, what is even success and what do we need to do to arrive there.

Obviously, some part of this belief system is also shaped by society, by parents, by caretakers, by many different situations in an early age as well.

So that is, first of all, we need to understand that this operating system, this inner architecture that you mentioned, is shaped very early on and it just becomes part of us, an invisible part of us.

This is what creates certain patterns of behaviors and even thoughts, because 90% of our thoughts we repeat on a daily basis.

So obviously then results are the same, situations are the same, patterns are the same, struggles are the same and all of that.

So until we come to that work that we open that box, deeper box and understand our architecture, right? How we shaped, how we wired, what beliefs we hold about ourselves, what is the self-image and all of that stuff, we kind of lead and leave with an operating system of a child, to be honest.

And this is one of the reasons why, first of all, many leaders are struggling with different challenges like probing, stress, workaholism, perfectionism, micromanagement, or even avoidance and pleasing.
You've mentioned that during your struggles, you were suffering alone, caught between trying to prove yourself and holding yourself back.
Why do so many highly intelligent, capable high achievers fall into this specific exhausting trap? Why is the C-suite still such an isolating matrix where leaders feel they can't be honest about their internal pressure or struggles?

And why, right? The second question is why it's maybe a space where it's discomfort, right? To dive in, to look deeper.

First of all, most of the people and most of leaders unconsciously in the vortex of proving themselves or chasing success, chasing recognition, to feel valued, to feel respected, to feel successful, whatever it is, are fulfilled as well, right? And why we...

have those traps and run on those kind of engines is just going back to unmet needs in a childhood.

Every story like that is linked with something that happens in a childhood, big or small, traumatic or not, and where some of our needs of love, of safety, of being valued, being recognized, being appreciated has not been met.

often below the age of seven, build self-perception, build beliefs about ourselves and the stories and narratives about how we need to achieve or how the success looks like, what is even success and what do we need to do to arrive there.

Obviously, some part of this belief system is also shaped by society, by parents, by caretakers, by many different situations in an early age as well.

So that is, first of all, we need to understand that this operating system, this inner architecture that you mentioned, is shaped very early on and it just becomes part of us, an invisible part of us.

This is what creates certain patterns of behaviors and even thoughts, because 90% of our thoughts we repeat on a daily basis.

So obviously then results are the same, situations are the same, patterns are the same, struggles are the same and all of that.

So until we come to that work that we open that box, deeper box and understand our architecture, right? How we shaped, how we wired, what beliefs we hold about ourselves, what is the self-image and all of that stuff, we kind of lead and leave with an operating system of a child, to be honest.

And this is one of the reasons why, first of all, many leaders are struggling with different challenges like probing, stress, workaholism, perfectionism, micromanagement, or even avoidance and pleasing.
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