Jul 13, 2026 · 41 min · 10 segments
Kristen Aut returns to discuss how to date without losing yourself, break free from obsessive patterns, and step into your Hot Girl Energy this summer. **Sign-up for the Hot Girl Energy Workshop…
Amanda DamesHost
Kristen AutGuest
... whether you're kink or vanilla, we all love good dick, right? Like, we all wanna be-
But we lose ourselves so quickly because we're like, "Ooh, somebody..." You know? And I th- I feel like so many women, so many women are like, "I don't feel anything until I feel something." It's not every guy that I'm out, like, trying to bang.
Not physically, energetically first, and you're like, "Yes," and then we get so excited, and we go all the way in, whether it's for the possibility of kink and being satisfied there, or, "Oh, my God, this is gonna be a great relationship," and then we get in bed with him, and then it falls apart.
I am embarrassed to admit, though, sometimes I think back on previous relationships and I'm like, "What was I thinking?" 'Cause I don't feel that energy that you're describing, like, when you feel the energy and you're like, "Wow, yes, this is it." And now I'm just left with the memories of who the person was, and I'm like, "What the fuck was going through my mind at the time?" [laughs]
I'm thirsty and I feel that this, like, little drop of water I found was my oasis, or is an oasis.
It really goes to show, like, how emotions really don't define what's actually happening.
It's like we feel something and we're like, "Oh, my God," but we lose ourselves so quickly.
And I'll tell you, like, the reason that my company came about is because the last time I slept with somebody that I actually liked, [laughs]
And it was reflected back to me so quickly, that feeling of, like, being used, being discarded was reflected back to me 15 minutes after this man finished and said, "I made a promise to myself that I wasn't gonna date anybody." I'm like, "Then why the fuck are we dating and didn't you tell me this?" And it hurt me to my fucking core, and I still have residual fallout from that.
It's like you saying, like, you look back and you're like, "What was going on?" What was reflected back was, truthfully, every single place in my life that I was using and discarding myself because I didn't ask questions.
... whether you're kink or vanilla, we all love good dick, right? Like, we all wanna be-
But we lose ourselves so quickly because we're like, "Ooh, somebody..." You know? And I th- I feel like so many women, so many women are like, "I don't feel anything until I feel something." It's not every guy that I'm out, like, trying to bang.
Not physically, energetically first, and you're like, "Yes," and then we get so excited, and we go all the way in, whether it's for the possibility of kink and being satisfied there, or, "Oh, my God, this is gonna be a great relationship," and then we get in bed with him, and then it falls apart.
I am embarrassed to admit, though, sometimes I think back on previous relationships and I'm like, "What was I thinking?" 'Cause I don't feel that energy that you're describing, like, when you feel the energy and you're like, "Wow, yes, this is it." And now I'm just left with the memories of who the person was, and I'm like, "What the fuck was going through my mind at the time?" [laughs]
I'm thirsty and I feel that this, like, little drop of water I found was my oasis, or is an oasis.
It really goes to show, like, how emotions really don't define what's actually happening.
It's like we feel something and we're like, "Oh, my God," but we lose ourselves so quickly.
And I'll tell you, like, the reason that my company came about is because the last time I slept with somebody that I actually liked, [laughs]
And it was reflected back to me so quickly, that feeling of, like, being used, being discarded was reflected back to me 15 minutes after this man finished and said, "I made a promise to myself that I wasn't gonna date anybody." I'm like, "Then why the fuck are we dating and didn't you tell me this?" And it hurt me to my fucking core, and I still have residual fallout from that.
It's like you saying, like, you look back and you're like, "What was going on?" What was reflected back was, truthfully, every single place in my life that I was using and discarding myself because I didn't ask questions.
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