Sep 19, 2026 · 33 min · 7 segments
I hadn't planned this episode - it seems to be the way, these days - it arrived instead, out of a small, quite ordinary battle with a piece of technology that simply wouldn't cooperate - and the…
Henny FlynnHost
And also I recognize that that task that I was trying to achieve, I started to construct an unenforceable rule around it.
The unenforceable rule being I wanted it to work the way I wanted it to work, not the way it was actually built to work.
And so my unenforceable rule became the sticking point, became the place of resistance.
And, um, And one of the things that can happen when we find ourselves in this place of the unenforceable rule is that our thinking shuts down, it narrows down.
Rather than being able to pull back and open up and see, well, what are some of the other ways it could be? What might be another more creative solution I could find? Is there someone that I need to ask for some help? Is there a different resource available for me? You know, all of these questions that all could, you know, genuinely help me solve this problem that I'm facing, this technical challenge I'm facing.
But if I'm stuck in that narrowed thinking of just wanting it to be a certain way because that's the way that it would serve me, I think right now, then all I create is tension and all I meet is resistance.
And I suppose the question that comes to me from that is, where do you go when stuff feels like that for you? Often I will turn to my journal as well.
And, you know, that can be a place where I can just sort of express what I'm noticing.
See, I asked the question, how can I bring more compassion here? I mean, it sounds like how on earth would you ask that question about you know, feeling irritated that you can't work with an IT system.
But actually asking that question, how can I bring more compassion here, really helps me soften because the compassion I can bring is almost like sort of humour and gentle kind of ribbing of the part of me that really wants to get that thing done.
my my get it done driver she's very strong um and this sort of gentle kind of like attention to her and just bringing some compassion to her and just going yeah yeah of course my love of course you want to get it done You know, and obviously, as I said, you know, I have spaces like this where I can come.
And also there's a fourth benefit here, of course, is this is a task that I want to get done.
Oh, I'd really, I'd nearly sang it then, but I'm not sure I quite get the tune right.
Um, um, You know, this thing of like, sort of, yeah, where do we go when stuff feels bad? Hard.
And also I recognize that that task that I was trying to achieve, I started to construct an unenforceable rule around it.
The unenforceable rule being I wanted it to work the way I wanted it to work, not the way it was actually built to work.
And so my unenforceable rule became the sticking point, became the place of resistance.
And, um, And one of the things that can happen when we find ourselves in this place of the unenforceable rule is that our thinking shuts down, it narrows down.
Rather than being able to pull back and open up and see, well, what are some of the other ways it could be? What might be another more creative solution I could find? Is there someone that I need to ask for some help? Is there a different resource available for me? You know, all of these questions that all could, you know, genuinely help me solve this problem that I'm facing, this technical challenge I'm facing.
But if I'm stuck in that narrowed thinking of just wanting it to be a certain way because that's the way that it would serve me, I think right now, then all I create is tension and all I meet is resistance.
And I suppose the question that comes to me from that is, where do you go when stuff feels like that for you? Often I will turn to my journal as well.
And, you know, that can be a place where I can just sort of express what I'm noticing.
See, I asked the question, how can I bring more compassion here? I mean, it sounds like how on earth would you ask that question about you know, feeling irritated that you can't work with an IT system.
But actually asking that question, how can I bring more compassion here, really helps me soften because the compassion I can bring is almost like sort of humour and gentle kind of ribbing of the part of me that really wants to get that thing done.
my my get it done driver she's very strong um and this sort of gentle kind of like attention to her and just bringing some compassion to her and just going yeah yeah of course my love of course you want to get it done You know, and obviously, as I said, you know, I have spaces like this where I can come.
And also there's a fourth benefit here, of course, is this is a task that I want to get done.
Oh, I'd really, I'd nearly sang it then, but I'm not sure I quite get the tune right.
Um, um, You know, this thing of like, sort of, yeah, where do we go when stuff feels bad? Hard.
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