The Grit & Grace Podcast with Dr. Lori Doddy
Jul 16, 2026 · 25 min · 10 segments
We often think of self-abandonment as something dramatic. I don't think it usually is. I think it happens quietly. Life gets heavy. Someone needs us. Work gets busy. A parent gets sick. Summer gets…
Lori DoddyHost
Uh, obviously, a lot of them, most of them want to lose some weight or change their physical body in some way, right? [clears throat] But it's not really just about weight loss.
It's not just about, you know, what meals they're going to eat, and it's not even just about the accountability.
That sentence again, "Hard seasons don't require me to leave myself." I think this whole thing is about something women do that we rarely notice while we're doing it, and that is, the way I'm going to, to phrase it is, that is we leave ourselves.
It's almost something that we do invisibly, and I think that's why it is so hard to recognize when it happens.
Because if I asked you, "Have you abandoned yourself?" most of you will immediately say, "Of course not." That, that sounds so dramatic, right? It sounds like something that happens in a movie with [laughs] the background music and the looks and the dramatic breakup.
But if I asked it in a different way, if I asked, "Have there been seasons where you stopped checking in with yourself? Have there been seasons where you stopped thinking about and asking what it is that you need, stopped making yourself part of the equation of what's important?" I think a lot more of you would say yeah.
And here's why I think that's important, or a big reason why I think it's important.
I don't think we wake up one morning and we decide, "Oh, we're gonna stop caring about ourselves." I don't think any of you says, "You know what? Today's the day I'm gonna disappear and give up on my own life." That's not how it happens.
You know, um, maybe your parents get sick or need you for some, some, in some other way.
Uh, obviously, a lot of them, most of them want to lose some weight or change their physical body in some way, right? [clears throat] But it's not really just about weight loss.
It's not just about, you know, what meals they're going to eat, and it's not even just about the accountability.
That sentence again, "Hard seasons don't require me to leave myself." I think this whole thing is about something women do that we rarely notice while we're doing it, and that is, the way I'm going to, to phrase it is, that is we leave ourselves.
It's almost something that we do invisibly, and I think that's why it is so hard to recognize when it happens.
Because if I asked you, "Have you abandoned yourself?" most of you will immediately say, "Of course not." That, that sounds so dramatic, right? It sounds like something that happens in a movie with [laughs] the background music and the looks and the dramatic breakup.
But if I asked it in a different way, if I asked, "Have there been seasons where you stopped checking in with yourself? Have there been seasons where you stopped thinking about and asking what it is that you need, stopped making yourself part of the equation of what's important?" I think a lot more of you would say yeah.
And here's why I think that's important, or a big reason why I think it's important.
I don't think we wake up one morning and we decide, "Oh, we're gonna stop caring about ourselves." I don't think any of you says, "You know what? Today's the day I'm gonna disappear and give up on my own life." That's not how it happens.
You know, um, maybe your parents get sick or need you for some, some, in some other way.
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