The Divorced Dadvocate: Strategic Defense for Fathers
Oct 5, 2026 · 45 min · 15 segments
Divorced dads, the loudest divorces aren't the only dangerous ones. In a high-conflict divorce, some of the real damage comes from a quiet strategy that looks like "normal process" from the outside…
Jude SandvallHost
And I wanted to start off with painting you a picture of a dad I'm going to call Ryan.
He's a composite of a lot of dads I have talked to that I do talk to that are in a high conflict divorce right now.
And so part of this story, I'm sure is going to sound uncomfortably familiar to you.
His wife filed, both sides lawyered up, and everybody said the right things about wanting to keep it civil, we're going to be amicable for the kids, et cetera, et cetera.
But Ryan figured it would take about six months, maybe nine months to get through things.
And his attorney gave him an estimate and he set aside what he thought was plenty of money to get through this.
The second one happened, but she showed up without the financial documents she was supposed to bring.
So they spent four hours at two attorneys' hourly rates, plus the mediators talking about things that couldn't actually be decided.
The third mediation session, she came in with a list of demands that really had nothing to do with anything they discussed before.
His attorney sent letters, then more letters, then had to file a motion to make her produce what she was already required to produce.
Meanwhile, her attorney was sending a steady stream of requests to Ryan's side, long list of documents, pages of written questions.
He'd pulled money out of his savings, put some on credit cards, and borrowed some from his brother.
And when the next settlement offer came in, an offer that gave up things he had sworn that he would never give up, Ryan read it at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night and thought, you know what? I just don't care anymore.
And I wanted to start off with painting you a picture of a dad I'm going to call Ryan.
He's a composite of a lot of dads I have talked to that I do talk to that are in a high conflict divorce right now.
And so part of this story, I'm sure is going to sound uncomfortably familiar to you.
His wife filed, both sides lawyered up, and everybody said the right things about wanting to keep it civil, we're going to be amicable for the kids, et cetera, et cetera.
But Ryan figured it would take about six months, maybe nine months to get through things.
And his attorney gave him an estimate and he set aside what he thought was plenty of money to get through this.
The second one happened, but she showed up without the financial documents she was supposed to bring.
So they spent four hours at two attorneys' hourly rates, plus the mediators talking about things that couldn't actually be decided.
The third mediation session, she came in with a list of demands that really had nothing to do with anything they discussed before.
His attorney sent letters, then more letters, then had to file a motion to make her produce what she was already required to produce.
Meanwhile, her attorney was sending a steady stream of requests to Ryan's side, long list of documents, pages of written questions.
He'd pulled money out of his savings, put some on credit cards, and borrowed some from his brother.
And when the next settlement offer came in, an offer that gave up things he had sworn that he would never give up, Ryan read it at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night and thought, you know what? I just don't care anymore.
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