Ep: 095: Why being 'nice' is sabotaging your marriage and career

Now, let's talk about this idea of being nice, okay? There's a big distinction I want to make, and this is some of the things that maybe some of you won't agree with me.

I know there's a lot of people who don't agree with me on this, and that's fine.

I don't care.

It's my show.

I'll say what I want.

But I believe that there's a massive difference between being nice and being kind.

And I think our culture confuses those two things constantly.

You see, a kind man is honest.

He's grounded.

He's clear.

He's respectful.

And he's compassionate.

But a nice man? Well, a nice man avoids conflict at all costs.

He says yes when he really means no.

He suppresses what he really thinks.

And he keeps the peace externally while resentment builds internally.

And eventually, the nice guy loses himself.

The nice guy finishes last.

Maybe there is some truth to that statement after all.

Now, how do I know this? Because I've worked with so many men who feel secretly exhausted by their own lives.

But when we peel back the layers, and if this sounds like you, if you find yourself in this story, in this narrative, what's going on when we really dig down deeper into the layers is that you haven't been living honestly.

You've been living strategically.

There's a difference.

You've been living carefully, trying not to upset anyone, trying not to rock the boat, Trying to keep everyone happy.

But the problem is, eventually you start abandoning yourself in the process.