The Connection Podcast - Lauren Dry
Oct 15, 2026 · 17 min · 7 segments
Reading every room. Managing every mood. Lying awake at 1am wondering why you're the only one trying this hard. That's hypervigilance. In this episode of The Connection Podcast, Lauren Dry, Master…
Lauren DryHost
First up, off the ranks is one of the most popular and familiar for most of my Rise clients, and that is the addiction to hypervigilance.
She can take half of a millisecond to look at him, and she knows immediately what kind of day he's had, what the next conversation's going to be like, what to say or what to do to navigate it, well before he even does.
But last Tuesday was the moment where she figured out that this is not something that's working for her anymore.
They were trying to figure out what to do on the weekend, you know, the family plans, the extracurricular activities, the family events, the social events, the work events.
And while she was trying to navigate a solution, the first response that she could get out of him was, "Nah, we'll figure it out." Not an answer to her question, not a solution to all of the challenges that she raised, not an option A or an option B, just a, "Oh, we'll figure it out." But there was just something about the way that he said, "I'll figure out," that she knew in her bones meant it was never going to get figured out.
She'd have to figure it out, and then he'd get annoyed that there was so much on and would tell her that he didn't have enough notice, even if it was across 15 different shared calendars.
After dinner, he started to go quiet, started to kind of pull away, and it wasn't even a bad mood kind of quiet.
She's clocked it for the last 15 years, but she still doesn't know how to get him back in a way that doesn't create a fight.
So she managed it, and she first started with plastering on a smile, asking if he's okay in a light tone that doesn't scream, "I'm annoyed at you," even though she's bubbling on the inside.
First up, off the ranks is one of the most popular and familiar for most of my Rise clients, and that is the addiction to hypervigilance.
She can take half of a millisecond to look at him, and she knows immediately what kind of day he's had, what the next conversation's going to be like, what to say or what to do to navigate it, well before he even does.
But last Tuesday was the moment where she figured out that this is not something that's working for her anymore.
They were trying to figure out what to do on the weekend, you know, the family plans, the extracurricular activities, the family events, the social events, the work events.
And while she was trying to navigate a solution, the first response that she could get out of him was, "Nah, we'll figure it out." Not an answer to her question, not a solution to all of the challenges that she raised, not an option A or an option B, just a, "Oh, we'll figure it out." But there was just something about the way that he said, "I'll figure out," that she knew in her bones meant it was never going to get figured out.
She'd have to figure it out, and then he'd get annoyed that there was so much on and would tell her that he didn't have enough notice, even if it was across 15 different shared calendars.
After dinner, he started to go quiet, started to kind of pull away, and it wasn't even a bad mood kind of quiet.
She's clocked it for the last 15 years, but she still doesn't know how to get him back in a way that doesn't create a fight.
So she managed it, and she first started with plastering on a smile, asking if he's okay in a light tone that doesn't scream, "I'm annoyed at you," even though she's bubbling on the inside.
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