Sarah HerstichHost
There's the you who's been patient and silly with your kids at breakfast and the you who wants to scream in the car line 20 minutes later.

Or if you're me at the bus stop as everyone's playing tag and your kids are scraping their knees and their hands as the bus rolls in 10 minutes late.

There's the you in a work meeting who sounds very professional and very calm, and the you who texts your best friend afterwards and saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to lose it." If you've listened for a while, you know I joke about my people-pleasing part and my over-functioning part a lot.

These parts of me have a very strong pull, right? Janina Fisher, who I mention all the time on the podcast and, like I said, who I interviewed a number of months ago, makes a really helpful, like, distinction.

She describes IFS or internal family systems as a parts theory, and it applies to all human beings, whether or not they've experienced trauma.

Structural dissociation, which we'll get into in a minute, is a trauma theory.

It's describing what happens to the self when someone has to survive overwhelming experiences.

So when your therapist says something like a part of you and when a dissociation specialist says a dissociative part, they might be using the same exact words to describe pretty different experiences, which makes a lot of sense why a lot of people can get confused around this stuff.

Kathy Steele is another wonderful trauma therapist and dissociation specialist who's written a number of books on this.

She and her colleagues have a way of describing what ordinary parts look like that I actually really love.

Most people can move from home to work to a hard conversation with their mom, and their thinking and feeling and acting shift to fit each situation.

But they still experience themselves as the same person the whole way through.

Even when a part of you is loud, even when it's a part of you you don't necessarily love, it still feels like you.

Part of me wants to cancel these plans still means I want to cancel these plans.

And hang on to that phrase, they belong to me, because I think it's gonna matter in just a few minutes.

There's the you who's been patient and silly with your kids at breakfast and the you who wants to scream in the car line 20 minutes later.

Or if you're me at the bus stop as everyone's playing tag and your kids are scraping their knees and their hands as the bus rolls in 10 minutes late.

There's the you in a work meeting who sounds very professional and very calm, and the you who texts your best friend afterwards and saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to lose it." If you've listened for a while, you know I joke about my people-pleasing part and my over-functioning part a lot.

These parts of me have a very strong pull, right? Janina Fisher, who I mention all the time on the podcast and, like I said, who I interviewed a number of months ago, makes a really helpful, like, distinction.

She describes IFS or internal family systems as a parts theory, and it applies to all human beings, whether or not they've experienced trauma.

Structural dissociation, which we'll get into in a minute, is a trauma theory.

It's describing what happens to the self when someone has to survive overwhelming experiences.

So when your therapist says something like a part of you and when a dissociation specialist says a dissociative part, they might be using the same exact words to describe pretty different experiences, which makes a lot of sense why a lot of people can get confused around this stuff.

Kathy Steele is another wonderful trauma therapist and dissociation specialist who's written a number of books on this.

She and her colleagues have a way of describing what ordinary parts look like that I actually really love.

Most people can move from home to work to a hard conversation with their mom, and their thinking and feeling and acting shift to fit each situation.

But they still experience themselves as the same person the whole way through.

Even when a part of you is loud, even when it's a part of you you don't necessarily love, it still feels like you.

Part of me wants to cancel these plans still means I want to cancel these plans.

And hang on to that phrase, they belong to me, because I think it's gonna matter in just a few minutes.
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