What Do You Need to Put Down? (Ep. 7)

And like a child, what does a child do when a parent is handing them the box? They put out their hands and they carry it because that's what children do, right? And over time, you become so used to carrying the box.

You are so capable and you might even feel so mature for carrying the box because you're the responsible one.

You may have been told that only you could be trusted with this box and carrying this.

And what would I do without you? And so over time, you don't even feel the weight of the box.

You just become so accustomed to doing this.

Again, you're the responsible one.

You're the capable one.

This is just what you do.

You cope.

You learn to cope.

And you don't see all you're carrying.

So I'm going to talk a little bit briefly just about what might be in that box, what might have been given to you that was never yours to carry.

And I'm going to use the emotionally immature or narcissistic mother or father as an example of what they put in.

But you use whichever parent this suits for you, whichever parent you recognize in these examples.

So first, your mother's moods may have been put in the box.

She said, this is on you to carry.

This is up to you to be able to monitor, mind me, care for me, support me.

And so then you become so accustomed to be able to reading her mood that you try to circumvent or prevent her being in bad form or being angry.

And when she's sad, this is also your responsibility to fix it.

your father may have put the peace in your responsibility, in your box.

So it's up to you to keep the peace, to keep yourself small, to keep everyone calm and quiet.

And if anything happens, if anything wrong or unfair or unjust was done to you, just ignore that.

Just keep the peace.

Just say nothing.

And even on top of that, you may have been told to go and apologize right when you've done nothing wrong.