The Called to Flourish Podcast
Jul 13, 2026 · 26 min · 11 segments
Most leaders who plateau aren't missing feedback — they're avoiding what honest feedback requires of them. Self-identification, it turns out, is only 20% of self-awareness. Leadership development has…
Robert WachterHostWhen we think about it, okay, um, the most important leadership moments, or even the most challenging ones, are the ones where no one's watching, no one's seeing, you know, what, what's happening, right? And, you know, it-- when I think of my experiences, because, you know, all that I write about and, you know, coach and teach leaders about comes from the world experience I've had.
Um, [clears throat] and interesting being in a room of leaders who all looked so confident, put together, you know, certain in what they were saying, and I would sit there and awe, I'm like, "How do they do that?" And, and then question myself.
And, you know, when we think about the inner work of a leader, certainly it is knowing yourself.
And to me, there, there isn't two separate identities here, right? You have your identity of life, of you, what you believe in that connects to who you are as a leader of people, as a leader of something that you believe in.
And I think often what happens is people feel like, "I have to be this certain way in business and this certain way at home or with my faith community," whatever those things are, and that is where we often get stuck and it feels awkward, because it felt so awkward to me.
I, I'm not seeing that with everybody else." It was almost like, uh, robotic almost in, in looking at leaders around me.
"Okay, they obviously are doing this right because they're at the level I wanna be, and so I gotta figure out how to do that that way." And, and so quite often, I think we try to separate our identities, um, instead of thinking about how they can come together as one.
Yes, kind of compartmentalizing, uh, who I'm supposed to be in this setting and who I'm supposed to be in this, this leadership setting and, um, really bringing that together, um, because it's based on identity.
I think it's actually very prevalent in many different Christian circles, uh, at least that I've personally experienced, where it seems like there's often an expectation of what you're supposed to say or how you're supposed to present yourself and, uh, uh, and, and it can come across as, you know, maybe, uh, less, uh, genuine.
Um, uh, and so I, I love that idea of it just starts internally, and I think about, you know, uh, the idea of kind of our Christian walk.
It's striving, it's human strength, it's looking good on the outside, as Jesus talked about.
And, um, whereas true faith, uh, is based on the new identity that we are, our new spiritual identity, this new creation.
So we're living from a place of who we are, not of how we're trying to perform or the perf- our, our walking it out comes from a real place of inner transformation.
It, it does, and, and yet it's really hard for people to figure out how to do that, you know? Um, you know, when we think of How we, you know, how you grow up, I like to say, in my career, you know.
Um, we start off and we get all this experience and this expertise, and it feels good because we're relied upon, we're the go-to for answers, and all of a sudden we become this leader of people.
And so when we think about the inner part, okay, um, we are all born with instincts, you know, all the things that we are just, the wonderful thing that happens when we come to life, right? And, um, the instinct to protect ourselves for survival, um, you know, to, and sometimes it causes us to avoid something, like you were saying, you know, uh, uh, I think I need to say what's expected versus what's true, you know? And so all of that comes from this instinct of feeling to protect ourselves, and so that aligns with as we go from all this expertise and experience into leading people towards something that is bigger than ourselves, we start to lean on that because that's what's made us successful so far.
When we think about it, okay, um, the most important leadership moments, or even the most challenging ones, are the ones where no one's watching, no one's seeing, you know, what, what's happening, right? And, you know, it-- when I think of my experiences, because, you know, all that I write about and, you know, coach and teach leaders about comes from the world experience I've had.
Um, [clears throat] and interesting being in a room of leaders who all looked so confident, put together, you know, certain in what they were saying, and I would sit there and awe, I'm like, "How do they do that?" And, and then question myself.
And, you know, when we think about the inner work of a leader, certainly it is knowing yourself.
And to me, there, there isn't two separate identities here, right? You have your identity of life, of you, what you believe in that connects to who you are as a leader of people, as a leader of something that you believe in.
And I think often what happens is people feel like, "I have to be this certain way in business and this certain way at home or with my faith community," whatever those things are, and that is where we often get stuck and it feels awkward, because it felt so awkward to me.
I, I'm not seeing that with everybody else." It was almost like, uh, robotic almost in, in looking at leaders around me.
"Okay, they obviously are doing this right because they're at the level I wanna be, and so I gotta figure out how to do that that way." And, and so quite often, I think we try to separate our identities, um, instead of thinking about how they can come together as one.
Yes, kind of compartmentalizing, uh, who I'm supposed to be in this setting and who I'm supposed to be in this, this leadership setting and, um, really bringing that together, um, because it's based on identity.
I think it's actually very prevalent in many different Christian circles, uh, at least that I've personally experienced, where it seems like there's often an expectation of what you're supposed to say or how you're supposed to present yourself and, uh, uh, and, and it can come across as, you know, maybe, uh, less, uh, genuine.
Um, uh, and so I, I love that idea of it just starts internally, and I think about, you know, uh, the idea of kind of our Christian walk.
It's striving, it's human strength, it's looking good on the outside, as Jesus talked about.
And, um, whereas true faith, uh, is based on the new identity that we are, our new spiritual identity, this new creation.
So we're living from a place of who we are, not of how we're trying to perform or the perf- our, our walking it out comes from a real place of inner transformation.
It, it does, and, and yet it's really hard for people to figure out how to do that, you know? Um, you know, when we think of How we, you know, how you grow up, I like to say, in my career, you know.
Um, we start off and we get all this experience and this expertise, and it feels good because we're relied upon, we're the go-to for answers, and all of a sudden we become this leader of people.
And so when we think about the inner part, okay, um, we are all born with instincts, you know, all the things that we are just, the wonderful thing that happens when we come to life, right? And, um, the instinct to protect ourselves for survival, um, you know, to, and sometimes it causes us to avoid something, like you were saying, you know, uh, uh, I think I need to say what's expected versus what's true, you know? And so all of that comes from this instinct of feeling to protect ourselves, and so that aligns with as we go from all this expertise and experience into leading people towards something that is bigger than ourselves, we start to lean on that because that's what's made us successful so far.
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