I’m in a dilemma. Help?

I've been thinking to myself about what a physical business would look like for me.

I've also been thinking about how I might be neglecting other aspects of myself.

that I could that are monetary that that could give me monetary gain that is of course that's what I mean um like am I neglecting something I'm definitely neglecting something but then I I love that I have ADHD and as I've grown older you know when you're younger you really kind of can't you can't take credit for your actual personality you feel like an imposter like you're playing character and you're cosplaying someone you hope to be i think because you haven't really had much time outside of like high school and the real world so i just realized now that when i was younger i i'm still young but like when i was younger when i was freshly out of high school i kept thinking that um i needed to focus on one aspect like just have laser focus on a specific aspect of your life and that should bear you fruits that will sustain you for life but you quickly realize that that can barely do that like until you've been you've been in the market for long, you realize quickly, very quickly, that real life bills versus what they offer at the beginning, it just doesn't add up.

It doesn't match up.

And they expect you to keep cosplaying someone who's like, say, I'm going to give an example of an office job.

So you show up every day at the office and you need to show up like they paid you on time, like they actually paid you, like they're paying you enough.

Like you are not basically sustaining the business while at the same time being grateful that they've employed you.

It's like, say you're being paid 20 G's, let's actually go with 20 K. You're earning 20 K as like an intern and you're living on thicker road.

I don't know how much money you'd spend on transport, but say in a month you spend like 8 K.

For the rainy days and the days when you have to take an Uber or whatever.

And we're not breaking this to, like, just weekdays.

Because, like, how do they expect you to live your life and sustain yourself after the weekdays? You know? So on the weekends, also, like, you have to buy your own lunch.

You have to pay your own transport.

And buy things that sustain you in that kind of, like, image of...

Shit, my camera is so dusty.

Shit.

fuck my god you see i feel like i'm just neglecting aspects of me oh god anyway so um you're told to cosplay this person who's doing really well in life while doing absolutely horrible horribly so you end up Living a lie, basically, because where do they expect you to get the money that you need to sustain yourself from? Like, even if you say at tea, okay, so for lunch, we need you to, you can, we'll give you lunch money.

This is lunch money and transport money.

What do they think you eat for dinner? What do they think you do on Sundays? Bruh.

So that shit was, that model of business was just not making sense to me.

And soon I realized that I quickly need to come up with things that could earn me money so i had to think quick but then while cosplaying um a well-paid office person um You get to a point where it just doesn't make sense because you're sustaining the business.

Do you understand? I don't think I've emphasized that you're basically sustaining the business.

You are taking care of their workers after hours.

Do they think you go home and then you die briefly and then you come back home in the morning? Absolutely not.

So who do they think is taking care of their worker? How do they expect you to pay rent? Where do they think you sleep? Bruh.