71. What Do You Really Want? How to Find Your Way Back to Yourself

I want to know, Vanessa, what kinds of things are circling in your mind these days about desire, and especially if you see a relationship between desire and joy?

I 100% agree with you that joy and desire require or have to be or are just by nature intertwined.

I think there's this sense of being

in

integrity.

You know, whether you've realized this or not, not you, dear friend, but like listener, whether you've realized this or not, being in integrity is incredibly important.

Living a life in alignment with who you are, who you are meant to be, who you continue to evolve into, the choices you make, are you choosing them based on your values? All of that is incredibly beautiful.

And desire is a huge part of that because where are we making choices from? Yeah.

And if we are making our choices from what I think probably 90% of the human population is making choices from, which is programming and social conditioning, that sometimes takes us out of alignment with who we are.

Sometimes that creates a chasm because we are not making choices in integrity.

When you zoom back in and say, hold on a second, what is it that I desire? Can I make a choice in alignment with what I desire? And when you do that, you realize you're making a choice in alignment with who you are, and that's choosing integrity.

And the more and more you follow your desire and you allow yourself, you give yourself permission to follow your desire, the the more you come home to who you are, because I think you walk a path of integrity just by nature of following your desire.

And I already know all of the red flags that show up when we have this conversation, right? It's like, isn't that irresponsible? Isn't that selfish? What about everybody who relies on us? If I was always just choosing what I did, wouldn't I be living a hedonistic life? Wouldn't I just, you know, like just all day sitting by a pool and, and, I, you know, maybe some people's purpose on this planet, some like, I believe a soul comes and incarnates into human form to evolve and have its soul's experience.

And some maybe there's people's purpose to sit by a pool all day.

I don't know.

And I think that if you are listening to this podcast, my sense is that you're probably driven by something else, something different.

You're likely mission driven because Chrissy is incredibly mission driven.

So my sense is that's who you pull towards you.

And so if you were to just trust yourself enough to trust your desires and just to start to notice where they're taking you and give yourself so much permission to just like go slow and see what happens and really know like where is the story of like irresponsibility coming from? Because my sense is, if you're listening to this, you're probably a pretty responsible person.

A lot of people probably rely on you, you know, so it's just, I think those two things, one can't live without the other.

You can't have, because you tell yourself you're happy, but usually if you have not followed your desires at the end of your life, you look back and there's resentment, there's sadness, there's guilt, there's something missing, or you have convinced yourself that this was the life you were supposed to live and you didn't let yourself fully live the life you wanted to live.

Yeah.

You named our uneasy relationship to desire, which I think is one of the most important things to realize so we can bring it into the light of awareness and then interact with it from awareness as opposed to casting it as a signal that we are selfish.

or that we are driven by base desires.

I also heard you really speaking to desire at the higher octave, right? We have our carnal desires or our materialistic, hedonistic desires.