#12 - Choosing Life After Trauma: Todd Johnston with Matt Cooke

Some stories take years before they can be spoken. In this episode of Arka Talks, Matt Cooke sits down with Todd Johnston for a deeply honest conversation about trauma, sexuality, leaving religion, sexual abuse, courage, healing, and the decision to choose life after years of carrying pain alone. Todd shares what it was like to grow up in a small town in British Columbia, leave the Jehovah’s Witness church and lose connection with much of his family, and later come out as a gay man after years of confusion, fear, and self-protection. He also speaks openly about being sexually abused and raped by an employer when he was 16, how that experience shut down parts of his body and identity, and what it took (years later) to report the abuse, go through a police investigation, and face the legal process. This is a heavy conversation, not only about trauma, but also about healing. Listener discretion is advised. Todd talks about therapy, EMDR, sex therapy, men’s group, friendship, DJing, volunteering, and the hard decision he made after a nervous breakdown where he contemplated suicide: *“I’m choosing to live. So if I’m gonna live, let’s live!”* Through his story, Todd shows what courage can look like when a man decides to stop disappearing inward, speak the truth, let himself be seen, and build a life that belongs to him. In this episode: - Todd’s first terrifying night walking into a men’s group - Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness and leaving the church - Coming out as gay and the fear of losing people - Sexual abuse, rape, confusion, and how trauma can shut down the body - Reporting his abuser nearly 20 years later - Taking the legal process one step at a time - How men’s group helped Todd feel less alone in shame and suffering - Choosing life after suicidal thoughts and a nervous breakdown - DJ YDEL, “You Deserve Epic Love,” and reclaiming joy - Chosen family, friendship, service, and volunteering in Vancouver - Why showing up, being seen, and staying open can change a man’s life This episode is for anyone who has carried shame in silence, anyone who has wondered if they were damaged goods, and anyone who needs to hear that healing from abuse and trauma is possible. You are not alone. Your story matters. And your life still belongs to you. Real men. Real stories. The path of the conscious warrior. Links Join an ARKA group: https://arkabrotherhood.com/join/ Follow @ArkaBrotherhood on Instagram: http://instagram.com/arkabrotherhood Canada National Suicide Crisis Helpline: Support is available 24/7 by calling or texting 9-8-8. United States: Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. Website: 988lifeline.org